singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Year of Big Changes So now I update once a year, I guess... Lots and lots of changes since last July. Steve and I are engaged and my wedding is ooming up soon! We're getting married in September and it's going to be so fun - live band, outdoors, photo booth, open bar, etc. I also moved in with him (I moved in last October after he asked me - which was on September 13th). I'm living on a different side of town, which I don't love, but I'm getting used to it. It's not fun driving 45 minutes to work everyday and living that far from all my friends and family. But, in some ways it's been an adventure. I like our house - I just wish we could pick it up and move it to the northside of Indy! But, we're almost done with renovating it so we can put it on the market (going up next week). We want to sell it and move north. And by we, I mean me, but he's been so great about it. I can't imagine having a baby and being that far away from everyone I know and love while being home alone while he's at work (he works 24 on, 48 off). I also might start a new job. I interviewed there last week and my friend (who works there) told me that they are going to offer me the job (today!), so I'm just waiting to hear how much the salary is. It's a pretty ballsy move if I accept it. Currently I work for one of the top not-for-profits in the city. It's a big job and I get paid well and have lots and lots of benefits and perks. The downside is that it's stressful and I work lots of hours. We want to start trying for a baby in October (perhaps on our all-inclusive Mayan Rivera honeymoon!) and I know that I can't stay in this job and do it all. LIterally, just two weeks ago, I saw an ad for my exact job (which I work in a database, so it's pretty specific), with a smaller company, for 30 hours per week. It would be a huge pay cut and I would lose out on so many perks and benefits, but I think I would be happier. And I could flex my hours and work when I want, so one of us could always stay home with the baby (and I can't imagine finding daycare that will let us come and go whenever we want - since his schedule is so random would be easy), I get lots of vacation time (4+ weeks per year), etc. Just sort of scary letting go of my "career" before even getting married. And it's not really letting go. What's the worst that can happen? I don't like it? Okay, I'll find another job. I'm not making enough money? Again, I'll find another job. I probably won't work in a place like I'm working now, but I think I'll always wonder "what if" if I don't take this job. It's a huge, scary step. Financially, career-wise, etc. But, that's what life is about, I guess. I'm in therapy now too - trying to sort some things out. Mostly to figure out my anxiety and to finally talk about some things that have happened to me in my childhood. It has not been an easy process and now Steve is going to join me every other week for couples therapy. More pre-marital counseling. I'd rather talk things out beforehand! This summer could be crazy! Wedding planning, moving and starting a new job. I guess I like a challenge :) I should start writing in here more again. It's been so long! Oh, and yes, I'm still about 265. I have hopes of losing weight before my wedding, and I'm sure I'll get down to about 230 or so, but I sort of feel like I am what I am and I just need to try to be happy with it. It will probably always be a struggle, but as long as I'm working out and eating more healthy meals than not, I should feel okay with myself. 2:13 p.m. - June 01, 2011 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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