singlegirl's Diaryland Diary

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It's Over - Almost Before It Even Started...

Email to Chad:

I just wanted to let you know that I finally got it...I know it took me awhile, but I guess I thought when you told me that you liked me/wanted to date me and chose "Option A," you meant it. Maybe you did at the time...I don't know. It doesn't matter now.

It's clear that you don't like me. Not really. Not enough to date me anyway. Your actions speak louder than words. If you liked me, you would want to see me - make an effort to see me, call me, etc. I know you're busy, but the truth is, if you like someone enough, then you find time for them in your life. And these past few weeks, you have put zero effort into seeing me.

So yeah, while I wish you felt differently, it's clear that you don't and I want to date someone who wants to date me - to spend time with me and who genuinely cares about me.

His Response:

Hmm. I am not really sure how to respond. I know I am definitely not comfortable with a couple of the assumptions that have been made.

I do very much enjoy the time we spend together. I think you are a wonderful person and I do care for you. I do not like this added pressure though that I have felt. I don�t want to disappoint or hurt you in any way. I want to add value. I am currently extremely busy and I have a few things I really need to take care of. My life is currently pretty much a mess.

You are right, it is not fair to you. Like I�ve said, I don�t want to hold you up. I want you to be happy. If you don�t feel like you are getting what you need, by all means, please do what is required.

While I am not sure how to move forward, I don�t want lose contact. I would very much like to maintain friendship. I think you are truly amazing and I would hate it if my personal problems/issues took you out of my life completely.

You know, I wonder how much of it is that I do not let ANYONE over to the house and it is really our only current option���

My Response:

It's sad to me to think that you felt pressure from me. Sad because I did try to respect your space and I feel like I compromised what I wanted as a result. And finally when I felt like I couldn't compromise any longer, I talked to you about it (Option A conversation) and honestly told you my expectations and what I needed from you and the "relationship".

I guess since I added pressure to your life by wanting to spend time with you and getting to know you better then, you must not have had the interest or time for me anyway. You shouldn't feel pressured to spend time with your "girlfriend/person you were dating/whatever I was". And I did feel like sometimes I was nagging you, and I HATED it. I shouldn't have to beg someone to hang out with me. Talk about pathetic.

Bottom line, I want to be with someone who likes me and wants to spend time with me (and therefore makes the time for me). Regardless of the reason why (too busy, too much pressure, not enough interest, etc), it is what it is.

As far as my living situation, you knew about that since date three...and if I was bothered by your living situation (which clearly it's not idyllic), I wouldn't have wanted to keep dating you. And again, I go back to the if you were really into me, it wouldn't have mattered. You would have wanted to see me regardless...

As far as our future goes (whatever that may be), I'll leave that up to you. Clearly I'm not going to wait for you, and as you said you are super busy and have some issues to work out. I don't want you to feel pressured by me again, so you can initiate contact and we'll go from there.

7:22 p.m. - May 14, 2009

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