singlegirl's Diaryland Diary
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Cheating?
So...I still don't know what to think. He likes me - I know he does. I just don't think he expresses himself in a normal way - or really at all.
We went to dinner last night and I could tell that he was into me. And I told him that at one point I thought it would be fun to get a hotel downtown for Peyton's Gala and he was like, "Yes. Done. I'll book it tomorrow."
He wouldn't do that if he wasn't into me. And he's buying a new suit for the event and...he does things like that, so I KNOW he likes me.
And he gave me my first ever compliment last night. Playboy is coming to town for the Indy 500 and I could have gotten us tickets to go, but told him I didn't think I had enough self-confidence to be in the same room with him and a bunch of playmates.
He said, "Why because they are super hot?" Um, yes. Then he said, "I don't understand. You do know that you are super hot too, right?"
Not super romantic, but nice to hear that he likes the way I look.
I'm just not sure it's enough. After our talk last week, we didn't talk at all Monday - Wednesday (and barely over email at work). So, I joined match.com again and am talking to guys again.
So yeah, I guess that's cheating since we are "a couple." It just doesn't feel that way to me. Don't boyfriends usually like to spend time with their girlfriends?!?
My friends think I should just end it with him and not cheat on him. I kind of think that I've been screwed over so much in the past that maybe it's time I looked out for myself first.
Think about it...I see him once or twice a week and see if he steps it up. If it takes him longer to figure out his feelings, then this will be a way for him to develop that without me feeling like complete shit about myself.
Meanwhile, I meet other guys (keep busy) and if I meet someone else that I like better, than good for me and too bad for Chad. If he likes me enough, he'll step it up. The ball is totally in his court.
It's not like I haven't told him specifically what I needed. I was clear. Black and white. Not sure what he doesn't understand about 3 nights a week (including 1 weekend night), 2 nights of phone calls (lasting 10 minutes) and 2 nights of not having anything to do with me.
He did tell me I could stay there this weekend since my family is in town from NC...so, that's 2 nights in a row.
Although last night he told me that he was going out next Thursday with some friends (and their wives/girlfriends) and I was like, "How come you don't invite me to things like that?"
He said, "I just found out about it today." He still didn't invite me though. If he doesn't, I'll be so annoyed. I always date guys who don't want to introduce me to people.
I'm going to take that to mean either he's dating someone else or he's embarrassed to be seen with me. We'll see what happens next week. Seriously, I'll be so mad.
He's met all my friends and next Friday he's going to meet my co-workers. I met 3 of his friends on St. Patty's Day, but we were all hammered and it was only for like 20 minutes.
Here is a recent-ish photo of us. The shirt I'm wearing was so tight, I didn't have to wear a bra - I loved it. Do you know how long it's been since my DDD's have been anywhere without a bra?!? Might by my new favorite shirt!!
Also one with me and my friends...and ignore my sunburn - I'm seriously addicted to the tanning bed! It's also turning my hair blonder...kind of weird.
6:35 p.m. - May 01, 2009
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