singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Idiot Part 2 Go back one entry to read about my current rumblings about Chad... So, I'm home. Of course he got his way...I went over there at 6...we were going to go for a motorcycle ride, but he couldn't find his keys. So we hung out for a bit and then went to the porn shop (totally my idea - my vibrator broke and I'm too embarrassed to go in there by myself) and then to dinner. It was fine. I was in a feisty mood (because he pissed me off today) and he could tell. We kind of got into our first fight/fight. Yes, even though he has completely pissed me off in the past, I have never yelled at him or anything. I've always talked to him in a very calm and rational manner. We kind of battled all night. It was fun in a way. I would have rather taken out my aggressions with sex, but that didn't happen. This wasn't our fight, but was kind of weird...he was going to say something and then stopped. He told me I was going to take what he was going to say the wrong way. I told him I wouldn't and he disagreed. We finally negotiated that he would tell me but that I couldn't talk about it or ask him any questions about it for 90 days (we had another bet earlier that we decided would end in 90 days, so we just stuck with it). This is what he said, "So, if you're sitting there and some guy walks in - and he's completely perfect - everything you wanted in a man. I couldn't fault you for sleeping with him." Um....what? So of course I wanted to ask if he felt the same way, if he would really do that, if it was just a hypothetical, etc. But nope, I couldn't say one word...what should I think about that?!? Was that his way of telling me that he slept with someone else this weekend?!? I don't think so - I really don't...but yeah, no idea. Also, (and I cannot believe I am going to share this, but I can't share it with anyone in my real life) he actually was working on a project for me. So, I'm sort of a very...sexual person. Fine, great. So is he. We are very compatible in that sense. So a few weeks ago, I sent him a few photos. Of me. Artsy, topless ones (none have my face - I'm not that stupid!). Black and white, close ups, with my hair sort of over them, or a necklace across them - I was bored - in bed for 3 days straight and it was something to do. Fine. He loved them. Great. So I jokingly said that I needed something of him. He told me that he had an idea and it would be revealed in the final project. That was today. He told me to check my email before coming over. He spent part of the day, uploading software onto his camera and doing all this different stuff so he could film a video. The video was of him, with his laptop on his lap, looking at the rotating photos of me and doing his thing, if you know what I mean... It sounds kind of dirty (and it is, but dirty is kind of fun) and gross, but it was actually kind of...nice. It was interesting to see someone getting pleasure out of naked photos of me...it was like being a voyeur with myself and him together. Anyway....random. Although I think I would have preferred him answering my texts in a timely manner versus shooting a movie for me, but whatever. I just wish I could see into the future and figure out if I'm supposed to be with him or not...that would make life SO much easier! 10:04 p.m. - April 26, 2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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