singlegirl's Diaryland Diary

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He loves me...

So, things are going well!

***

After our talk about the not being so physical, Chad still didn't see me that much...we "talked" everyday over email, but we didn't talk on the phone or see each other more than twice last week.

So, this was the email I sent him in response to that (it's a good one):

Well, I guess I have something I wanted to talk to you about - and it can wait until tomorrow - I just didn't know if it would be easier to talk about before we go out again...

You know how you said that the demise of relationships are usually a result of a lack of communication? I guess I just feel like maybe we aren't on the same page. I think we both like each other...at least I know that I like you.

I guess I'm just confused as to what we are doing...I mean I know we are "still in the match stage" and are still getting to know each other and that's great...I just think that maybe our methods of doing that are different.

I want to reiterate that I don't expect to see you or talk to you every single night - that's ridiculous. I think it's so important for people to have their own lives...However, I think it's strange that we only talk to each other once or twice a week (not including email, which doesn't really count - to me anyway).

To me, that's more casual dating - and maybe that's what you want. I guess I just thought that we were both looking for the possibility of something more serious.

I guess I feel like if we are trying to determine if we are meant to be in each other's lives, I think we need to have more communication - more time spent getting to know each other better.

Maybe that's a 10 minute phone call talking about our days or seeing each other a few more times a week - again, we are both busy. I think I suggested before that we could hang out for an hour or so at the end of the day - from like 9 - 11. I live minutes from you...it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

And maybe you just move more slowly than I do...maybe you like to ease into things more gradually. Again, I don't expect an "Instant-Relationship". As I said, maybe our methods are different...I guess I feel I need more time together to determine and maybe you don't need that....

Also, I am curious as to how you are in actual relationships (like when you are seriously committed to someone)....maybe you don't spend that much time with that person?

So yeah, I'm just confused and this probably doesn't make sense and it would be a lot easier to talk about in person...I guess I just wanted to give you a heads up as to what I was thinking...

And if what you need is more time and this is how you determine what you want, I think I can handle that...I guess bottom line is that I just need what's going on...

***

So that was Wednesday...he CALLED me that night and was so sweet. He told me he had been thinking about me. He actually said, "I was thinking about you tonight, this afternoon, this morning, last night, yesterday afternoon, yesterday morning, the day before that, the day before that, the day before that and so on."

I heart him.

So he asked me how I wanted him to respond - phone, in person, over email...I told him he could choose and he chose email.

He didn't have time to get back to me yesterday, so we talked about it last night when we were out...

Bottom line...he really, really likes me and is scared. Scared of his strong feelings towards me. He's never felt so strongly about someone so quickly...He's fascinated by me.

So, on the other hand, he's terrified of having his heart broken. He's been hurt in the past and doesn't want to go through the heartbreak again.

So, he's being cautious. Fine...I can live with that. I'm not going to throw a perfectly good thing away because he moves a little more slowly than me.

Mmmm...he's such a good boy.

And we made it a week without sex...pretty good. Last night was amazing. On the couch, kitchen counter, in bed, and then again this morning...1.5 hours of sleep.

Oh and the entire time? I have a ruptured ovarian cyst. So, I read about it online (after going to the gyno today for an ultrasound and diagnosis) and either everyone else is a huge pussy or I'm kind of a bad ass.

Actually, mine must have been pretty small. I'm uncomfortable all the time - like I had horrid menstrual cramps, but I don't need to go to the ER or take Viciden or anything...it can last up to 2 weeks though - ugh!

But yes, the sex was oddly pleasurable - 3 orgasms - not kidding - and painful all at the same time...

Off to become a blonde! I'll post pics later.

1:15 p.m. - April 03, 2009

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