singlegirl's Diaryland Diary

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I Want Michael

I need to stop being sad. I sat in my car in the garage (after coming home from the holiday party), crying and listening to sad music.

I need to stop emailing him. I�m being an enabler. I enabled Nik with his drinking and I enabled Jeremy by paying all the bills. I do not need to enable Michael to cheat on his wife with me. He�s not going to know what he�s missing until it�s gone, right?

Our exchange today�.

His email to me:

Your co-workers probably think you're a dirty woman-which we both know you are, lol. Okay-you want me to develop a dick drawing habit?? Why is that? That's a little weird. Wait, what if i developed a vagina drawing habit-I guess i couldn't be as creative with the drawings though, lol.

so, obviously I need to get my shit together-we've pretty much established that. I've never thought about the phrase "miserably content" though--you's a smart one Liz. Jealous, huh? Well, at least I am not alone. I can tell you that there will no longer be any sort of "maintenance" provided, if that makes you feel any better. I am thinking about totally abstaining from any and all sexual pleasure, including masturbation until my shit is together. Okay-i was kidding about that last part obviously.

Just letting you know, I miss talking to you Liz, hearing your voice , chatting about random shit, like who i'd like in a hot tub with me, ya gotta love the Oprah and Angelina picks i had. But, I think that you and this situation has been a wake-up call for me that probably should have come sooner than this. I do believe though ,that things usually happen for a reason and maybe this is some sort screwed-up way we were supposed to meet and eventually be something more--we shall see what the future holds.

I gotta get back to work. It takes me forever to write these long emails since people keep coming by my cube seeing what I am doing or looking at my screen. You have expressed a lot and thank you for that. I do want you to be happy whoever you're with(hopefully me eventually), you're too special of a person to not be. I hope you had fun on your date with Dave the other night(not really), hopefully you dind't get drunk and make out with him, or I bet you canceled and told him you weren't up for it. Say hello to PJ (wink, wink) for me and give Clyde a hug for me, just about the coolest dog I've met. Hey, i had asked you for your address too but you never gave it. I hope you have a good day and great weekend and try not to go past your usual two drink minimum tonight ms alcie--the first step is admitting you have a problem, lol. i will talk to you soon Liz.

My email to him:

1. I'm afraid to give you my address. What if your (soon to be ex - ha!) wife finds it and send me a letter bomb or ends up on my front porch with a gun? You have to guard this with your life. Memorize it and destroy it. XXX; 46250.

2. I think you should abstain from all type of sexual pleasure (self-induced included). Maybe that'll light the fire under you that you need. And then think about how amazing it would be when (if) I come visit you. We both might explode with pleasure. Ha, that sounds really dorky - I could possibly write soft core porn romance novels.

3. I agree that things happen for a reason too - we'll see. Goods like me don't stay on the market too long though :)

4. Canceled on Dave. Wasn't in the mood this week. I told him I would call him later. I may or may not. Part of me thinks I might miss you less if I have a boy paying attention to me. Even if it's a boy I don't like. Megan was trying to convince to go out with him this week, but then changed her mind when she realized that everytime she brought up his name it looked like I was going to throw up.

5. Not going to happy hour tonight. Happy hour might be at my house though. I do have quite a bit of rum left.

6. I know you don't like George, but you could at least give him a high five or something. A lock and load. He's my boy too you know.

7. PJ and I have thought about you a few times this week. We like thinking about you.

8. I would love it if you had a dick drawing habit. Just because it would be funny. And yes, you could a lot of things with a vagina drawing habit. I might have to sketch a few, scan them and email them to you :)

9. Sorry in advance if I get drunk at some point and drunk dial you. I will try my hardest not to. I'm tempted to take your number out of my phone so I can't do it, but we'll see...

10. I know I'm smart - we established that when I kicked your ass at Scene It.

11. I miss you.

4:28 p.m. - December 13, 2007

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