singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael's Visit Well, I went back to WW and lost weight. I�m now almost at 110 pounds gone. This week is pretty much shot though. Too many parties. I�m just going to do my best and still have a goal of losing 3 more pounds by New Year�s Eve. That will put me under 200 pounds. I would love to weigh 199 by then. Michael came to visit this weekend. It went better than I expected. I hadn�t seen him since October (right after Florida) and that was the only time I met him. We talked a lot since then, but last week it was getting hard to talk to him since we had already done the background stuff (religion, family, likes and dislikes, etc) and talking about our day-to-day stuff wasn�t really interesting since neither of us had experienced it with each other. Anyway, he got here on Friday afternoon and it was weird at first. I think he was going to kiss me in the car, but I just started driving away. We got back to my house, had a few drinks, talked and then headed out for dinner. We ate at the bar and were there for an hour before my friends arrived. It was nice to be in a familiar place with my friends (drinking) on our first night. I guess I was pretty hammered because my friends today were making fun of me. I really didn�t think I was that bad, but I tend to drink super fast when nervous. I basically chug non-stop. I really am very, very shy. Dave was there too. So weird considering I slept with him the weekend before. But I did tell them about each other (and really I�m not dating either one), so at least there was that. But yeah, by the end of the night, we were dancing and making out (people kept telling us to get a room � I must have been pretty lit). We went home and had a good rest of the night. The next day, we ran errands, rented movies and went to lunch. We spend the rest of the day on the couch watching our movies. I made lasagna for dinner and we drank and hung out. Sunday was his last day. We did nothing, but lay in bed and watch a movie on the couch. It sucked that the weekend went by so quickly. I really, really miss having someone. Someone to watch TV with, hold hands with, snuggle with. The sex was wonderful (we really do have amazing chemistry), but that�s not what it was all about. I mean, that was a big part of it (I seriously had my first orgasm with a guy in almost 2 years � I almost started sobbing when it happened), but I miss the other aspects a relationship too. The bad thing? The fact that he�s technically married. His wife asked him about me (specifically used my name) and I guess she called me once and hung up (I don�t remember that). He told me that when he got here. He talked to my friends about it a little bit. He told them that his wife was psycho and that she was going through his stuff. Well, I did that with Jeremy and found out he was moving out. I don�t think that was psycho. I knew he was fucking with me and proved it. If he�s really getting divorced, why would she care? And why is he lying to her? He told her that he was on a work trip in Minnesota (Which, hello? Why pick a cold state with the possibility of being snowed/iced in?). She called him several times Sunday morning accusing him of being with a girl (she didn�t use my name � at least he told me she didn�t). It just made me feel terrible. At the same time I don�t really want him to tell her about me. I don�t want her to think I�m the reason he�s ending it. According to him, they�re getting divorced. What if he lied? What if he decided he wanted to but hasn�t told her yet? What if he isn�t? I don�t know � it was just weird. He asked me to come visit him in Dallas. I asked him how that would work? He said that maybe we could meet in Austin instead (where he�s from originally � his family lives there). I told him that I wouldn�t be visiting until he got his home life figured out. I just don�t need to be part of this messy situation. I kind of want his wife to call me back and talk to me in a rational manner. I will tell her everything he told me and I want to see what she says. But at the same time, I want nothing to do with it. I feel like even if they are not getting divorced, he lied to me and told me he was, so I�m still not the problem. He�s the problem. He�s a liar and a cheater and she (and I) would be better off without him anyway. So yeah, she was yelling at him and hanging up on him yesterday morning. I told him he was going to have a great night when he saw her later on that day and he said he didn�t care anymore. If she knew, etc. I�m so curious how last night turned out. Anyway�that was my weekend. Good and bad. If he�s not lying about his situation and his wife is just psycho (he told me that even though she initiated the separation, she�s talked about reconciliation lately and he told her he is not interested) and in denial, then fine. Well, that still sucks, but it�s better than him being a full out cheater and liar. Why can�t I find a local, uncomplicated guy? Why does nobody else like me? Seriously, I feel like I find these stupid guys who I shouldn�t waste my time with, but there is nobody else. I�ve been single longer now that I�ve lost weight than when I was when I was heavy. Awesome. Speaking of, I have a date with Dave this week. I figured I might as well go since I�ve lead him on this long. I can do the date and decide that I�m not interested. I feel like after everything I need to give him a fair chance. He likes me so much. I just wish I could like him back and be done with it. I would probably be married this time next year. But if (okay, WHEN) I decide I�m not interested, I need to stop hooking up with him when I�m drunk and it�s 3 am. I don�t talk to him all night, then walk up to him, ask him for a ride home and then he spends the night. So stupid. And he so likes me. It�s not fair to him. Okay, that�s my latest boy saga. So dumb. I just want to meet a nice, smart, honest guy that I�m actually attracted to. I would think the next best thing would be a nice, smart, honest guy and that would be Dave. Blah. 3:24 p.m. - December 10, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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