singlegirl's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
# 7
Um, well let�s add 1 more guy to my tally since my last entry.
We�ll call him the, �Will you sit on my face?� guy. Ew. Enough said.
Didn�t hear from Michael all weekend. He emailed me Monday � said he missed talking to me and then I didn�t email him back (he left me hanging for a few days). Then he called me last night and I waited awhile and called him back. So sick of the game playing but you have to play them.
He didn�t talk to me last weekend because I was apparently rude to him on Thursday night. I don�t remember. It�s quite possible. I was on a alcohol/vicodin/steroid combo and I was in rare form.
I just didn�t know what to say. He was so blunt about it. He was like, �So, you were really rude to me on Thursday.� Um, sorry? I don�t even know what I did and when I asked him he just said it was more my tone. And that I was impatient with him.
After that our conversation was kind of weird. I felt really badly and kind of like a punished child. He thinks I drink too much. And yes, in the past month I have. I kind of think I had/am having a �turning 30/lost 100 pounds crisis�. I almost doubled my sex partners in the past month (7 if you�re keeping track) and I�ve been going out a lot more.
I�m back on it though. I can�t drink like that and lose weight. I signed up for a 3 mile run this weekend and a 6.5 mile run next weekend. I am back to eating healthy and working out every night that I can. Last night I ran a 5k and then did the Arc and EFX after (I did an hour of cardio and it felt great).
Anyway, it�s just weird. It�s kind of annoying that I have to explain myself to him when at least I�m single and NOT married with a child. We�ll see what happens. I annoyed myself this morning though. I sent him an email apologizing again (fine, if I was rude I should apologize), but then telling him that he could come down whatever weekend he wanted and I would rearrange my schedule if need be.
I hate that people-pleasing girl. I got in trouble and now I�ll kiss his ass to make it up to him. All my boyfriends took advantage of that particular personality trait. I need to not do it again�
My �friends� are mad at me right now. More like acquaintances. They are mad because I cannot celebrate one of their birthdays with them this weekend. It�s $50 for a mystery dinner theater that doesn�t include drinks � just the theater and dinner. I have $100 until next Friday. Part of it is poor planning but part of it is the stupid $120 in co-pays I had to pay for all my testing last week.
They keep bringing up times I�ve gone out lately. Really? How I spend my money is none of your business. And I don�t spend that much out � look at my numbers lately� guys are buying me drinks! Blah. I feel attacked and disappointed and just pissed off.
Seriously, I�ve sent several emails apologizing and they just keep attacking me. I�m done. And hilariously? I�m not the only one. And some people are lying to them about other plans but it�s because they don�t want to go. At least I was fucking honest. I�m not going to throw my other friends under the bus. Lesson learned. I should have lied.
And I get my test results in less than 2 hours. I feel so much better though so I doubt it�s a tumor (right?!?). I still can�t straighten my arm or use my fingers and I sometimes have shooting pain but the constant ache is no longer there.
Wanna see a horrific picture of me? It�s really terrible. This is what I looked like a year ago this weekend.
And this is me last weekend (crappy camera phone picture). Clearly I�m celebrating Halloween. Although I do wear pigtails quite a bit.
I don�t even look like the same person.
I love, love, love the difference. The first photo makes me want to cry. But the second one (even though it�s not very good) is SO much better. And I can�t wait until this spring when I�ll be showing you my photo from Halloween (my current after) as my before and be 50 pounds thinner with an even better after.
The first girl is gone forever. I will seriously kill myself before allowing her to come back. My friends and family are just shocked by how much my personality has changed too. I�m not as shy and I�m more fun and happy. Just totally different.
And that�s why I�m back at it. I will be under 200 pounds by November 17th (not weighing in at WW until then). And since I have no money to buy food, it will probably not be that hard!
1:47 p.m. - October 30, 2007
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------