singlegirl's Diaryland Diary

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email from florida

i'm on vacation. long story, lots of guys. sex. craziness. and in all that, the most perfect man ever.

i honestly believe i met my future husband. he's from indy too, so no long distance relationship,

fate keeps throwing him at me. first on our airplane (he sat behind us) and then on sunday at hooters (classy, i know....

below is an email i typed to my friends.

i 100% believe this is the man for me.

i've never asked this...please, pray for us. pray, knock on wood -whatever, that elizabeth vanlandingham and randall tidwell get married and live happily ever after.

i'm not kidding. please, please, please stop right now and send up a prayer. he's the one. i know it. i love him.

anyway, i just sent an email to my 2 best friends that couldn't go on vacation this year (they both went on honeymoons instead) and it's pasted below.

prayers or whatever, not kidding. this is the most important thing in my life right now...

here's the email...well, it's 12:15 now and i'm writing you...can't be a good sign, right?

let me start by saying that jen and abby are not here. they are both with respective boys (jen with jessie and abby with jk). i am 100 percent completely alone. sucks so bad. woo, vacation!

sorry in advance this might be a long email - i'm bored, kind of drunk and sad. settle in.

first off, randy is possibly the hottest man i have ever seen. he walked into the restaurant in khaki shorts, a blue short sleeved polo shirt, sun glasses, tan, SUPER hot. like took my breath away hot.

he's so nice. always makes sure we all have drinks. offers his seat to us, talks to everyone -makes everyone feel included. so much so that i thought he wasn't interested in me.

after dinner we went to cabasca's and while abby and jen thought he was paying more attention to me, i didn't really see it. i did the whole game thing. put my leg next to his so it was touching, etc. he didn't move away, but he didn't do anything else either.

on the way to the cottage we held hands. he offered his arm to me, insisted on walking by the street so i was safer (seriously, nicest guy ever). of course i made an ass out of myself and fell going up the stairs. he picked me up and didn't laugh and assured me i was good.

we get drinks, go outside to smoke and i said, "sorry if i'm being too forward." i just felt it was me doing all the moves and while he wasn't pushing me away, he wasn't initiating everything.

we had this conversation that he was attracted to me but didn't want abby and jen to feel like he was taking me away from them. he's "shy" and all that. he asks me to go for a walk on the beach and we go, makeout like crazy, sit in the sand and it was terribly romantic.

so what happened? he was wasted drunk. like wobbling drunk. he is so nice that our guy friends here bought him 4 shots. and we had been drinking hard alcohol too,

basically he had to go home. i begged him to come home with me. i told him i didn't want to have sex, but i wanted to hang out. he told me no, he couldn't do that since he was with his parents. i walked him off the beach and to the 7 eleven to get a cab and we made out there for along time. then he gets in, i start walking back to the cottage and he calls my name. he wants another kiss. i start walking back and fall flat on my face!!! he rushed out of the cab to pick me up (meanwhile the cabby is surely loving the makout session and drunk girl falling) and i hear hysterical laughter. one guess who the hysterical laughing girl was...

of course jen and jessie are leaving and saw me fall...awesome. we all get in a cab, drop jessie and jen off at his place and then i get dropped off next. again, i ask randy to go home with me and he just says, "liz, no i can't." but at the same time, he's holding me so i don't fall over from the crazy cab driver and is rubbing the back of my head. we both get out, he kisses me and i'm kind of mean to him. he says goodbye, i give him a quick kiss, a short goodbye and walk in.

i just hate it. i hate this. he might be the most perfect person in the world. i'm in love with him. i really am. when he walked into the restaurant, i literally lost my breath. how could a guy so hot and so normal be interested in me? this doesn't happen to me.

did you know he's the national sales manager? a producer at espn? did you know he gets free sports tickets? did you know that he is a professional golfer? he plays in tournaments for money? works with the colts player?

i want to marry him. i'm done. found my match. i want nothing else. just randy. i know it sounds crazy, and i know i fall in love instantly, but seriously, he is my type but a million times better than the usual guys i date. a trillon times better. he might be perfect.

i might have ruined it though. first with the whole talk we had about whether or not i was too forward (which was no, but he was respectful and shy) and then me begging for him to hang out with me (so denied) and then kind of being a bitch about it.

you know he invited us over to a cookout at his house (which is on the beach with a pool and a hot tub!) tomorrow. he's buying the food, cooking - had a whole afternoon planned. i seriously love him.

of course my insecurites are on high. first off, why would a guy so hot like me? doesn't make sense. why is a guy so hot single still? he is the best catch girl could ever want. even when he text messaged me today he ended it with, "hope you had a great day." what guy says that? he's really that nice and that caring. he really did hope that i had a great day. and he genuinely cares about my friends. and me.

so yeah, why would this perfect man be intersted in me? i am so set up to gettng my heart broken. i am crying as i type this. i am head over heels in love with him. i really am. what if he HAD to get that drunk to kiss me? what if he's such a nice guy that he didn't want to hurt my feelings so he "drank me hot"? what if i ruined everything tonight? i was just so disappointed. i was sad and i just wanted to hang out with him.

when he said he was going to call me first thing in the morning about the cookout, i said something like "maybe". i was just so sad about the end of the evening. he said it was up to me whether or not i answered his call. i think he apologized to me 40 times about drinking too much.

here's another theory. he's real. he likes me. he's a good person and very religious. i think he might be. he told me a story tonight about how a few years ago he tried to make a cross on his arm using a hot butter knife. i saw the scars - it didn't work. who does that? a person who's very religous. i also got the feeling he was the other night, just from things he said.

i'm fine with that. he could be a serial killer and i would be fine with that. when i told him i didn't want to have sex with him tonight he told me that he didn't do that either. another sign (can i just say that i have bruises on my body from the 21 year old i slept with last night - he liked to bite!).

when i got here tonight, i started crying and for the first time in a long time prayed to God that this would work out . i want to marry him. i am done. really done. i have never, ever felt this way about someone before. aside from being hot and established, he's nice. a nice person and is smart and outgoing and talkative and..............perfect.

i just hope 2 things.

1. he really likes me and is being honest and just accidentally got too drunk tonight and didn't get that way just because i was flirting with him.

2. i didn't ruin it by not being more supportive and understanding. i wasn't asking him to spend the night. just to hang out with me for another hour or so. it was only 1130 or so when we left. he was drunk and i think religious though. i'm so ready to go that route if it'll bring him into my life for good,

i just hate it though. i'm going to get my heart broken. i hope not. i hope in a year we can laugh about how at our second date he got so drunk he had to leave early.

life is so unfair though. abby and jen are off having vacation sex with guys and i'm all alone. randy is so superior though, that if this works our - SO worth it. i don't care about the sex or anything else. i just want him.

so that's my story for tonight. sort of good. sort of bad. i just wish that once my life was black and white. i hate the gray. but i love randy. and we haven't even had the talk of what to do after vacation, if he's really the nicest person in the world (really, he has been called that), i think we'll see each other after this week. that is if i haven't ruined it.

my game plan for tomorrow: act like everyhing is cool. he was wasted and i'll anwer his call and be normal. tomorrow at the cookout i'll be super fun and nice and won't make any moves. i might not get any action, but the ball will be in his court. i'll be fun and flirty and irresistable and he will love me. and best result will be that he'll want me so badly he'll walk on the beach with me again and we'll makeout forever.

he told me i was beautiful and for the first time in a long time, i believe it.

blah, okay i'm done. i just.....................................really, really, really want this to work. i love him. yeah i barely know him, but at the same time.............

it goes with everything too. the ring test. i'm supposed to get engaged when i'm 30. my mom (who you know is psychic) thinks i'm going to be married next summer...this could be it. and no, i don't really give a shit about those tests except when i see him and breathe him, all i can think is that he's the one. how crazy is that?!?

it's been an hour....i'm going to go. i've cried and prayed and i just hope. hope that for once it'll work out for me. i don't need a broken heart and now that i've met randy, every other guy is going to pale in comparison. i feel like i've met the one and i just want to be done with it. i want all of him.

up close he looks a little like ethan from passions - if that's not a sign, i don't know what is.

okay, thanks for listening/reading- whatever. just had to get this out and talking to myself (i'm not nice - the conclusion i came up with is that i'm a fat, ugly girl with bad luck and nothing ever will go right for me) has gotten old.

shoot up a little prayer, good luck whatever to me and randy. i have never asked this before, but i really mean it. please. i want this more than i want anything in the world.

thanks.......................

1:29 a.m. - October 04, 2007

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