singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back on Track I did call Jeremy back, but it was fine. I just told him that I had been wondering how he was doing and that I was just checking in. He asked when he could come see me and I told him it wasn�t a good idea. He was so annoying yesterday. He text messaged me, called me and then sent me a picture of himself. Really? Don�t try so hard. Plus he�s doing all this and he has a girlfriend? Once a snake, always a snake. I just need to tell myself that I�m not ready for a relationship. I was fine until the disastrous blind date. Plus, I�m really not ready. I am, but I�m not. I would like to hit my goal weight first (sadly, that probably won�t be until next winter/spring). Not because I think that I�ll finally look good enough to have a relationship then, but it�s a known fact that people in new relationships tend to gain weight. I don�t need to give myself any other reasons to not lose, you know? If someone wonderful comes along, then fine, but I don�t need to complicate my life right now. After 20 years of being overweight, I finally found the right formula to take it off. Why fuck that up? Speaking of, this is such an �inconvenient� summer (not really since I love my friends, but you know this diary is all about me!) for me to be a bridesmaid (twice). My dress is done for the first wedding. I�m not wild about my arms, but short of cutting off the fat (which I have contemplated), there�s not much more I can do. My little brother is actually meeting me at the gym today to help me spot train to shape up my arms more in the next month. It probably won�t help, but I can try. Seriously, my arms are bad. GIANT sausages. The next wedding is in September. I�m hoping to lose 40 pounds by then. It�s 3 months away. Maybe that�s not reasonable...I lost 70 in 6 months, but that�s over half. Hmmm, anyway, regardless of what I lose, I plan on being smaller, so that makes buying a dress next to impossible. Luckily for me it�s sold at Nordstrom, so I�m going to just order 3 sizes online and wear whichever one fits me best at that point. The dress is going to look hideous on me (the dress is gorgeous, I, on the other hand, am not). It�s just not my style. I�ll post a picture of it. It�s not tight � thank God! � but it�s strapless and to look halfway decent, I probably will have to lose that 40 pounds. Not drinking (as much) will definitely help that! Of course, if I hadn�t have gained my 2 pounds and lost my usual average of 3 pounds, then I would only have to lose 35 pounds by September and that sounds much more reasonable. I really, really hope I lose my 6 pounds this week. Obsess much? Me? Heh. One of the �compliments� I got from this weekend from one of my guy friends, �Have you lost a massive amount of weight?� Um, yeah, but seriously? Did you have to word it like that? But, it�s better than people whispering that I�ve gained a lot of weight lately. And yeah, I have to admit, I love how the guys who I haven�t seen in awhile stare at me. Of course they are all my stupid guy friends who are married/engaged/have girlfriends, but it�s still nice to be noticed. 9:13 a.m. - May 15, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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