singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Huh I wish I could stop thinking about Jeremy. It�s not constant, but I would like to erase him completely from my mind. Sometimes I think about him and feel sad and lonely. Other times I feel angry and bitter. I bet he doesn�t think about me at all. Now that he has a new girlfriend, I�m sure I�m a distant memory (along with the 3 years we spent together). I just hate that his life is much better than mine right now. I know I�ve said this before, but it just doesn�t seem fair. I�m turning 29 in September. I don�t want to be 29. In fact, I keep thinking I�m turning 28 and my family and friends have to constantly remind me that I am, in fact, turning 29. Talk about denial. When did I get to be so old? Where did my life go? Why do I have nothing to show for it? I�ve been sleeping a lot more lately. On the weekends, I don�t get out of bed until 1 or 2 pm. I�ve never done that before. I don�t think I�m depressed, just tired I guess. And bored. I could literally be dead in my house and it would take days if not a week at least for anyone to notice. Well, probably the people at my work would notice. Sometimes I think about that and it makes me sad. Or I think about how I could so easily choke on my dinner and die and nobody would know. I apparently don�t have enough hobbies or friends to help me fill my void. I have enough friends, just not the right kind. Or, I should say, they already have a significant other or a roommate and I�m the perpetual third wheel. One of my best friends (high school friend, roommates in college, she�s dating my ex�s best friend), wanted to go out on Saturday, but the single girls already had plans to go out. She got mad. It�s not fair that 6 of us girls are going out, but not inviting the girls who have boyfriends. Okay, maybe not, but I don�t see her calling me on Friday night (date night in our group) to see what I�m doing. Or to see if maybe, just maybe, I would like to go to happy hour. It�s not like she and Jay haven�t been dating for 5 years. Surely she could go out with me on a Friday night once in a while. It just kind of bugged me. But, once upon a time ago, I was part of the �cool� group that had a boyfriend and I didn�t worry about what the single girls did on Friday nights either. Karma, right? And how annoying is it that my friends have �couples� nights where they invite all the couples over for dinner/drinking/games? I�m sorry, now that I don�t have a significant other, am I not worthy? Again, it never occurred to me that the single girls would mind � I assumed they were doing all sorts of fun, fabulous single things. Now I know that they weren�t. It�s like I got kicked out of a club and had to join another, way less fun, one. In other news, I�m still doing Slim Fast and not really losing weight. I�m not sure how that�s possible, but somehow I found a way. I drink a Slim Fast for breakfast, a Slim Fast for lunch with a half a ham sandwich (low fat ham, no mayo, whole wheat bread), a piece of fruit for a snack, 4 whole wheat crackers with 2 T of hummus for my other snack and a low fat/low calorie dinner. Not that much food, but somehow I�m still a huge fatty. I am getting very anxious about the airplane. If I don�t think I can fit, I�m not going to even try. Sucks that I will lose $167, but it�s better than the humiliation of being kicked off a plane. I might call Air Tran to ask how big their seats are, but I�m kind of afraid that they�ll think I�m planning some sort of terrorist attack or something. Plus it�s just so embarrassing. Anyone want to call for me? 1-800-Air-Tran. 3:19 p.m. - August 31, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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