singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Fucking Hate Him I feel stupid, hurt and foolish. But mostly I feel anger and hate. It feels kind of good to hate Jeremy. It�s about time, you know? Remember how 2 weeks ago, Jeremy came down and brought me breakfast in bed, took me to a movie and bought me groceries? Remember how I was all nostalgic and sentimental about Jeremy? Fuck him. Guess what I found out? He had/has a girlfriend. He claims he didn�t have a girlfriend when he came down to see me, but he had one the very next day. Odd, no? And it�s not just that he has a girlfriend, even though he had been professing his love for me and telling me that he�s going to change, it�s the fact that as soon as he had a new girlfriend, he dropped me. I guess it just infuriates me that months ago, after I discovered that he signed a lease to an apartment behind my back, I still helped him out because I loved him and didn�t want him to get hurt. I went out of my way to accommodate him and he didn�t do the same for me. Why am I even shocked? I guess it�s just so awful having that asshole drop me after all I did for him. He doesn�t even care if he hurts my feelings and doesn�t even want to remain friends. That pisses me off. He actually text messaged me the other day and it said, �Hi Liz (insulting because he never actually called me by my name). How are things? I didn�t know if and when I would ever hear from you again. XOXO.� You have to be kidding me. It took every ounce of self-control to not type back, �Fucking die you dumbass, white trash loser.� But, in the end, I want to be the one who took the high road out. I simply deleted the text and all his information from my phone and unless he contacts me again, I have no way of getting a hold of him (he changed his number since moving back home and I never memorized it). It grosses me out that he probably slept with this other girl and then slept with me. What a fucking loser. Thank God he doesn�t life in my town anymore. I would want revenge and all I really want to do right now is kill him. He�s such a fucking dirtbag loser. And stupid. He texted me about a week ago (before I found out he had a girlfriend � Debra, by the way) and told me that he was going to a �candlelight VISUAL� for a friend. Um, guess what retard? It�s VIGIL. I�m not usually this mean, but I�m really just done. I should have been done long ago, but apparently I�m not that much smarter than Jeremy. What a lowlife, waste of space, piece of shit. Moving on...literally. I�m all moved in! Finally. It took me a week to pack/paint/unpack, but it�s done. And I have a brand, spanking new grill. My parent�s bought it for me and brought it over last night. It�s very large and sparkly. I can�t wait to use it tonight. I�m thinking about making shish kabobs. Yum! Clyde isn�t adjusting well. I think it was because he was bounced around 4 times before I took him in permanently. I think he thinks I�m going to make him leave. Poor little guy. He hasn�t really eaten for the past several days. He�s just so confused and scared. He�ll adjust soon enough and start to love having a backyard. I can�t believe I finally have a house. With a yard and a grill and a garage! It�s so exciting! 3:18 p.m. - July 25, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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