singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Email to Jeremy *I sent this to him today and I'll post his response* Jeremy, First off, I want to apologize for having that conversation while I was a little inebriated. I was just so hurt and mad that I couldn't wait. I really don't want to hear excuses. I know you said things about me, both Scott and my guy friends confirmed it. And I know I wasn't perfect. I was insecure and had low self-esteem. I think what gets me is how passive aggressive you were about it. Why didn't you just tell me how you felt? Jeremy, I must be the most clueless person in the world, but I had NO idea (maybe you should be an actor) how you felt. How could you call me a bitch and then complain about me, when you gave no indication about that to me?!? You would come home from Guys Night early because you had to work early - at least that's what I thought. Now I realize that you were telling everyone that I made you. You told me you wanted to! Again, I know I'm not perfect and that I did have my own issues, but I never treated you like that. The thing is Jeremy, I just can't do this anymore. I feel like I just can't try to get over one more thing. And the more I learn about you, the more I realize that I never even knew the real you in the first place. I think more than anything, we both need a fresh start in life. I know that I'm planning on working on things like my low self-esteem and trust issues (although you certainly didn't help in that department either). I hope you can look at this as a learning experience too. I think more than anything you need to figure out what you want out of life and why you lie so much. I'm not angry with you anymore. I don't want to carry that burden around. And I do forgive you for everything, if that makes you feel better. And at the same time, I'm sorry for all my issues (I won't list them, we've talked about them many times before) and if they hurt you. I did love you. Maybe too much at times, but I just can't keep letting you take advantage of me and of my love for you. I wish you the best - I really do. I hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for. I know you think that it's me you want, but it's not. You need to make yourself happy (and I need to do the same thing) before you can make anyone else happy. If you have things you need to say to me, feel free to email me back. I don't have to have the last word - but it is definitely goodbye. 1:11 p.m. - May 26, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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