singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He's Gone for Good Jeremy is gone. I found out he lied to me again. I found out minutes before he left. I looked at his checkbook (when I was packing up his mail for him) and saw that he signed the lease to his apartment a week before I found out. For one week he knew he was leaving me and kept it to himself. We went to the Super Bowl party together and the whole time he knew he was going to walk out on me and our relationship. I thought that him lying to me about signing the lease for one day was bad enough...and even after we broke up and talked about it, he maintained that he signed the lease the Thursday morning (not the Saturday before when it actually happened) we broke up. I told him I knew and that I was so disappointed in him. I�m just over it. Thank God I found out about it. I probably would have given him a second chance at some point down the road. I think that me finding that out right before he left was a sign from God or something. It just seems poignant that the final straw happened minutes before he was about to leave. That moment right there could have saved me months or years of future heartbreak. It HAS been easier this time. I think the first time was just such a shock. It�s still lonely in my apartment (and it�s only been 2 days) but I�m not as sad or heartbroken this time. I still don�t have the energy to start my new life with enthusiasm, but I�ve made progress. I went out on Saturday night and went to a friend�s house last night for dinner. See? I can be by myself and still be social. It�s hard, but I still had a good time (and somehow managed to get so drunk Saturday night that I puked at the bar � classy). I also started my anti-depressant drug today. It�s Celexa. Has anyone been on it before? The pharmacists told me that I could not drink while taking it at all. Really? It seems like most of America is on some sort of anti-depressant and most people drink at least a little. So yeah...I�m single again. 100% single this time. Now I just need to work on getting myself back on track. It�s going to be a long road...the end result will be worth it though. 10:15 a.m. - April 03, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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