singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holding On I�m alive. Only because of my friends and family though. After my walk yesterday, I went home, made dinner and then went to paint pottery with some of the girls. After that, I went to another friend�s house, watched the OC with the rest of the girls, and spent the night at her house. Another friend and her husband took Clyde for the weekend so I didn�t have to worry about him. It was so nice of them and not having to worry about him makes things 100% easier. After work tonight, I�m going out to dinner with another one of my friends, then I�m going to a house party, where I�ll see my guy friends for the first time. They�ll be all sweet and it�ll make me cry. People being nice to me makes me cry. After that, I�m spending the night at my friend�s house again (it�s my old roommate and her boyfriend � the kittens that I lived with for 3 years are there and they slept with me last night � it was sweet) and she is coming back to my place Saturday morning to help me pack up the rest of Jeremy�s shit. After that, we are going to either go out for the night or stay in and hang out (I get to choose what we do). Sunday, I�ll be on my own, but I think I�ll be better by then. I hope so. I�ll have Clyde back and then we�ll see how our first night alone goes. I still haven�t decided what I want to do. I can�t take Clyde with me if I move back home. I don�t even know if I want to move back home. It�s all very confusing at the moment. I�m going to email some of my friends in a few and see if any of them want Clyde for a few months until I get back on my feet again. He was so sad yesterday. I think he thought I was giving him away (he lived in 4 different houses before we adopted him). He�s so sweet and so confused. My poor baby. I just feel like I can barely take care of myself, let alone a huge puppy. We�ll see how Sunday night goes. I�m hoping it�ll be fine and that we�ll be okay living there until July. Fucking Jeremy. Also, he was at Guy�s Night last night. When I heard that my best guy friends (some of them for 10 years) were hanging out with him, it made me sick. All the girls were irate and we could barely watch the OC because they were calling their boyfriends and getting mad. I was drugged (thank GOD for anti-anxiety pills and beer), so I was lying on the couch just listening to everyone. The guy who hosted the party (who I�ve been friends with for 6 years) emailed me this morning and apologized. Long story short, the guys didn�t know all the details (since it happened so fast), Jeremy showed up and the guys didn�t know what to do. Basically nobody talked to him and it was a very uncomfortable evening. After he left, 2 of the guys (whose girlfriends are my best friends, so they knew the whole story) explained the entire situation to the other guys and Jeremy will not be around anymore. Why do I kind of feel badly for him? I don�t. But I do. It would be hard to lose all your friends in one day. He deserves it though. I am possibly the ugliest girl in the world today. My eyes are swollen and red from crying and lack of sleep. I didn�t have time to dry my hair, so I�m sure it�s huge and frizzy and I�m wearing barely any makeup (why should I bother since I�ve cried so much?). I just couldn�t get out of bed this morning. I left my friend�s house at 6 am, went home and laid in my bed until 8:45 (I had to be at work at 9:30 and I hadn�t showered in 2 days). I also haven�t done any dishes or cleaned up since I tore through the house packing up Jeremy�s stuff. I�ll do it this weekend. It�s kind of nice being able to be lazy and not have to worry about anyone else. So that�s where I am right now. I�m still in shock. I mean, come on! It�s Jeremy! I cannot believe that he did this to me. I wish you knew how much everyone loved him. This whole situation is the most fucked up situation I have ever been in. Thank you all again for your kind words, emails, etc. It sucks that it takes a situation like this, but it�s nice to know how many people care for me. I love you all. 12:05 p.m. - February 10, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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