singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why Me? I really think Jeremy is cheating on me. I hope I�m wrong. Oh God, please let me be wrong, but I don�t see how. He was text messaging his ex, by the way. He was acting shady and lied to my face. I forgave him though because I know that I can be a jealous person and he didn�t want me to get upset. It still left an unsettling feeling in my stomach, but I got over it. Last night he left to work on one of the basketball players. When he got home, he tasted of alcohol and was acting kind of weird. I asked him why he smelled like wine and he said that he and the basketball player had a few drinks afterwards. Okay. Then he was secretly text messaging while I was watching the Bachelor. I asked him why he was typing something under the blanket. He told me he was tapping his fingers on the bed and that he was covered up because �he felt fat.� Right. I just had this awful feeling all night and could barely sleep. I trust my gut. So this morning, I checked his bank account and he randomly took out $80 last Monday. He couldn�t help pay for groceries, but was able to take out $80 and now it�s gone (and I have no idea what he spent it on). I checked his phone records online too. He has been either sending or receiving text messages in the middle of the night. He has sent over 170 messages so far this billing period. He called as I was looking at his bill and I told him that I thought I could hear him texting at night. He denied it. He denied doing anything wrong, professed his love to me and was so genuine. Then I looked at his actual calls. There is a mysterious number that has popped up recently. I called it and a woman answered. I just hung up. At the Super Bowl party on Sunday, he told me that he was going upstairs to call his parent�s. He didn�t. According to his phone records he called the woman. He has talked to her for long periods of time (over 40 minutes in one case). He�s cheating, right? I want to call him and demand to know what this number is, but what if (by some random act of God), he�s not cheating on me and it�s totally innocent? How psycho would I look? I would ruin our relationship. How can I find out who this person is? I already tried to look it up on the Internet. How can I approach him about this? Oh and also? I always invoice the P@cers for him. Always. He has worked on a certain player twice in the past week and when I told him to give me the exact times for me to invoice, he told me that he would bill them himself. I think he wasn�t really giving a massage last night (at least not to a basketball player). I think he wants to bill them himself because there�s nothing to bill. He was with the basketball player once last week, he �helped a friend move� on Saturday and he was gone last night. I just don�t know. 2.5 years of my life wasted. I never cheated on him. Ever. I never wanted to. I loved him like I�ve never loved anyone before. I truly believed that this was going to be a fantastic year. I am so angry, mad, sad that he did this to me. To us. Why doesn�t he love me? How could he lie to me? To the girl who has given him everything she has. I can�t start all over again. I can�t. I am so heartbroken and sad right now. I think I honestly might die from heartbreak. 8:39 a.m. - February 07, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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