singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Not a Good Night Jeremy and I didn�t get along at all last night. It was one of the worst nights we�ve had in a long time. He was grumpy to start out with (he hates his job) and as soon as he walked in the door, he announced he was going back to school for medical massage therapy. Has anyone ever heard of this or seen an ad in the classifieds for a medical massage therapist? I haven�t and he�s applied to all the hospitals here and nobody is hiring. He reacts emotionally to situations and doesn�t think about them. It drives me crazy (even though I�m sure I do the same). He has 2 goals in life � one is to work for a professional sports team full time (medical massage therapy would not do this). His other is to open his own practice (again, medical massage therapy would not do this). He has talked about going back to take specific classes so that he would have a specialty (prenatal or geriatric massage) and I think that�s a great idea (he could then open his own massage practice). He�s also talked about going back to school to become a physical therapy assistant (physical therapists also are licensed in massage therapy and they are who the professional sports team hires � he could assist them). Also a great idea. When I pointed all this out to him, he got so mad at me. I guess I should just support whatever he does, but since we�re going to get married, it affects me too. He just never follows through with what he wants to do. He complains about his job yet does nothing about it (even though he talked about getting his medical massage therapy license, he won�t do it). He never follows through with anything and that kind of scares me. Last night was the first time that I thought, �I can�t marry him.� At times like this I can see his upbringing in him (his dad worked in a factory, his mom stocks shelves at a discount store � surely they would rather have better jobs, but they just don�t try). It�s not the money, it�s just the laziness that I can�t stand. When I say he never follows through, I�m not exaggerating. It�s going to either take me getting him all the information and helping him to make an educated decision or I�m going to have to listen to him complain about his job for the rest of his life. Why can�t he just do it himself? Anyway, after that fight was resolved (kind of � he pissed me off even more by saying, �At least I�m not jealous all the time� � okay true, and let�s talk about that later, but for the moment, it has NOTHING to do with what we�re talking about), he literally threw a temper tantrum, which was so unsexy. We couldn�t figure out the VCR/DVD thing and so he pounded the floor with both fists and screamed something at me (he was frustrated because he was missing 24). He then got up and huffed and puffed out of the room. Seriously...it�s like dating a 2 year old sometimes. Last night his thought process and behavior was that of a child. All I could think was, �You�re a jackass.� So yeah, I�m having serious doubts about our relationship right now. I�m sure things will change by tonight...I just want him to be more of a man. I want him to be successful in his career (I hate hearing him whine about his job � although to be fair, I�m sure he�s tired of hearing me whine about being fat) and I want him to follow through with things. I also want him to be smarter. At least THINK about things before doing them. Is any of what I�m feeling normal? Are all men helpless or did I just pick one that is? Blah. 8:40 a.m. - January 24, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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