singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Birthday I apologize for the lack of updates. I�ve been so busy these past few weeks. I haven�t had time to read most diaries either � I�m only caught up with the first 6 on my buddy list. I miss my diaryland. Last weekend was my birthday weekend. It was good and bad. Not bad, but disappointing. I took Friday off and my mom and I spent the day together shopping. My poor dad. He just gives us his credit card and hopes we don�t do too much damage. Between the 2 of us, I think we spent $1,000 � not that bad. My parent�s bought me so much stuff � a crock pot (you all know how much I love to cook), WW membership for the year, IPod (plus I can download all the songs I want for free), tons of clothes, purse, etc�it was a fun day. However, that night was not so fun. Jeremy made me dinner (because I asked him too), which turned out really well (low fat fettuccine alfredo). But that�s all he did. We are tight on money, so I wasn�t expecting presents or anything, but he didn�t even get me a card. We ate dinner in front of the TV and he went to bed. I was so angry at him that I started crying. We fought about it and sort of made up and went to bed. The next day, my mom and I went to WW (I lost another 5 pounds) and then went to take my grandma out to lunch. After that my mom came over to my apartment and she helped me reupholster my couches (also part of my birthday). Jeremy came home and my mom said to him, �Not even a card?� I love my mom � Jeremy was so embarrassed. I also told all of our friends. They asked me what we did for my birthday and I said, �Absolutely nothing.� He got shit about it all Saturday night. Saturday night we went downtown and I got VERY drunk. I drink too much. I don�t drink very many days � usually only on Saturday night, but then I drink way too much. Plus I was mixing � shots, martinis, rum and diets, beer � gross. It was fun though � we went to a dueling piano bar. Jeremy and I got into a huge fight at the bar that continued when we got home. It was about�money, of course. He hates talking about it, so we rarely do. It makes me angry though that I pay for almost everything and he always puts himself first. If we have a cable bill due, he won�t pay for half of it unless he has all his basic needs met first. Once he has gas, paid his bills, etc�he�ll give me money for it (if at all). What he doesn�t realize (or care) is that I have to pay the bills no matter what � even if that means I don�t buy new clothes or go on vacation. I just think that with me putting him and our relationship first all the time, it really hurt my feelings that he didn�t put any effort into my birthday. So, as I was screaming these things at him, I was also crying hysterically. I told him that he will never put himself before me again or I will leave him. I was so pissed that I slept on the couch (which I have never done before). Things are fine again. It�s going to help that he will get his first full paycheck at his new job next Friday. It�s also going to help that it�s going to be larger than mine. Finally, he will have more money. And truthfully, it�s not having money that bugs me so much. It was just how utterly selfish he was. Why should I put him first when he doesn�t do the same for me? He was such an asshole this weekend. And for the record, his birthday is in November and I�m not doing a thing for it. Not a card � nothing. I was going to get him Colt�s tickets (we�re playing the Bengal�s in Ohio) and we were going to drive down there and have a great day, but fuck that. Our anniversary is in a few weeks � I mentioned something about it and he told me that I shouldn�t give it another thought. He was going to do everything and that I should just enjoy it. We�ll see. I�m not holding my breath. Tomorrow night is Girl�s Night. It was nice to see my girls again on Saturday, and nobody said one word about Florida. They were a little tan, but not noticeably so. I�m sure they had fun, but I�m just glad I don�t have to hear about it. And with Jeremy making more money this year, maybe we can go on vacation! Again, not holding my breath, but you never know�
11:34 a.m. - September 28, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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