singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Waaaay Too Long and Waaaay Too Serious! Good morning, everyone. I am so happy that today is Friday! This week has been draaaaaaaging by. I went to Girls Night last night, which was okay. I was so tired for some reason � I watched the OC and Reunion and went home. I didn�t drink at all, which I�m so grateful for, since I passed about a billion cops on the way home. This weekend should be somewhat relaxing. Tonight Jeremy and I are going to watch movies, light a fire and just relax. We have Sahara and Monster In Law to watch � I hope they�re good. Tomorrow I am going to go to WW early and then go back home and get into bed. Jeremy and I have not had a chance to lay around, eat breakfast in bed and just enjoy the morning together. I can�t wait! We also have lots of TV shows from this week to watch (I seem to tape something every night) � we might be in bed until the mid afternoon. Saturday night, we are going to a friend�s house for a party. There will be lots of flippy cup, beer pong, poker, etc. The older I get, the more I like house parties than going to the bars. It�s a lot cheaper, you can talk to everyone more easily and there�s more to do. Sunday Jeremy and I are going to go to my parent�s house for my grandfather�s 85th birthday party. My grandfather is not doing well at all � he hasn�t known who I am for awhile now, but now he doesn�t know my mom or grandma either. It�s going to be a last celebration of sorts � very sad. My grandfather�s sister, her children and grandchildren will be there. My grandparent�s old neighbors (from the 60�s) will be there � people like that. I just hope it�s not too much for him. He�s going to have no idea what�s going on or who anyone is. Plus it�ll be the first time that he�s out of the nursing home. My father is being a dick about the whole thing (which is why my mom happily spent $1,000 on his credit card). He doesn�t think my mom should have the party. He�s worried that my grandfather will have to go to the bathroom and stain the carpet (he wears depends and is incontinent) � have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? First off, he�s in a wheel chair and cannot get out of it. Secondly he wears 2 layers of diapers and thirdly, if it somehow gets that bad, we will just change him or take him back to the nursing home. And furthermore, have you ever heard of carpet cleaner? My mom asked if Jeremy and I would come over an hour early to help her set up. My father is going to be a royal asshole and it�s going to make me furious. My father tends to act like an asshole right before company comes (he�s a freak about everything being perfect � he�s almost like Bree from Desperate Housewives). He yells and yells � this will be the first that Jeremy experiences of it. I�m also mad at my father because he�s been threatening to divorce my mom. He�s not serious, but it�s not even funny to joke about. My mom wants to have my grandma and grandpa over for Thanksgiving (that�s even if they�re still alive). Her side of the family (which is tiny � it consists of my 2 cousins and 1 aunt � my uncle died last year) will be coming in from North Carolina. My dad is furious about this. We have spent every single Thanksgiving and Christmas since I was born (28 years) with his side of the family. My mom wants to have 1 with her family before her parents die. Isn�t that just horrible of him to say, �If you have your family over for Thanksgiving, I will divorce you.�? He�s said it twice and if he says it again, my mom will probably do something. What�s even worse? My bitch sister-in-law decided that she wants to go to her parent�s house for Thanksgiving and is not letting my older brother spend the only Thanksgiving he could ever have with his grandparents (maybe he doesn�t care, but I refuse to believe that). And to top it off, instead of spending Christmas with our family (they�re supposed to spend one holiday with hers, one holiday with ours), they�ve invited her family and our family to their house for Christmas. First off, NO. I do not like her family. They are not my family. They are my sister-in-law�s parents. They are weird and not nice. My mom already told me that we�re not going. The past 2 years, my sister=in-law�s parents have gotten both holidays. My mom said that my brother and his wife can do what they want, but we are not going to work around their schedules. Grr. It makes me mad. So yeah, thanks to my father and bitch sister-in-law the holidays are pretty much already ruined and it�s still September! My father would be a dumbass to leave my mom. If he did, I would never speak to him again. I would sue him for my trust fund (he has it right now so I don�t have to pay taxes on it) and walk away. I think my little brother would do the same. Not my older brother and his bitch wife though. I think they�re all cut from the same cloth. Remember how I invited my brother and bitch sister-in-law to Steve Miller � back in July? I tried so hard with her. I sat next to her, talked to her, etc. I got nothing. So, in my drunken state I asked my brother why she didn�t like me. He responded that it was because she had self-esteem issues. Dude, I am the Queen of Self-Esteem issues, but even I know, when someone is being nice to you, be nice back. It�s not that hard when someone is talking to you. Plus, I�ve known the bitch for 8 years now. Get the fuck over it. Anyway, after the concert I never heard from them. On my birthday I didn�t hear a thing from her (I fucking mailed her a card on her birthday) and my brother left me a voicemail - I didn�t call him back. I guess I just don�t see the point anymore. It makes me sad because we used to be so close, but I can only do so much. I�ve been trying for 28 years to let go of the fact that my father and I will never be close or really have a relationship. I hate that I�ll probably have to throw my older brother into the mix as well. God, it is going to be so hard to bite my tongue when I see her and my brother at the party this weekend (if they even come). I have been nice to my bitch sister-in-law since I�ve known her. It�s been a struggle but I�ve never been mean to her. There have been times that I don�t talk to her very much, but that�s because I promised my mom that if I couldn�t be nice to her, I just wouldn�t talk to her. You know that one of these days I�m going to explode, right? I just need to let it go, but every time I see her, something else happens that sets me off. That�s 8 years of pent up anger and resentment (let alone the 28 I have for my dad) � no wonder I hate family get together�s so much. I don�t really hate them (because I love my mom and my little brother), but it�s just so annoying. My dad screaming, Jen (bitch sister-in-law) being a (surprise, surprise) bitch, and my older brother being a complete pussy and not standing up for himself � it�s such a great time! Okay, last rant about my brother and bitch sister-in-law � they�re going to start trying for babies soon. I hate that the first grandchild will be hers � ick! Basically it means that the entire world will revolve around them once again (for 2 years all my family talked about was their stupid wedding) � and it means I�ll have to see her more often. I know my mom will make me go to baby shower�s and things like that. It kind of makes me want to get pregnant right now just so I can be first. Can you all tell I�m the attention deprived middle child? But truthfully it�s never about me. But, I�m boring. My older brother and wife are rich, about to have a baby, etc (they have everything in common with my dad). My little brother is so handsome, is going to a private male college (no, he�s not gay) and is getting straight A�s. He is also probably going to go to law school at Notre Dame next year. He also tends to date supermodel type girls. I, on the other hand, am a social worker who lives in an apartment with her below average (in my father�s eyes) boyfriend. That�s it. End of story. So, see? I need to become a drug addict or a prostitute or something. I could just do something great, but it�ll never be as great as my brothers. End of long, rambling story where I feel sorry for myself. 8:38 a.m. - September 30, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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