singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just a SMALL Rant I�ve been waiting 5 years to see Steve Miller in concert. Somehow I ended up getting extremely drunk and don�t remember most of it. I didn�t even drink at the concert at all. I had 2 drinks before we left (vodka and diet) and 2 beers on the bus. That was it. I was crying at one point and couldn�t stand unless Jeremy supported me. I was a mess. I have no idea what happened, but I�m bummed because it wasn�t as fun as it could have been. My brother and his wife went with us and it was fine. I had a good time with my older brother, but my sister-in-law just�kills me. After six years you would think she would make an effort with me. I still tried with her � I cried at one point and asked my older brother why she doesn�t like me. He said something about her self-esteem. Whatever � I am SO shy and have zero self-esteem, but I can still talk to someone I�ve known for SIX years. I�m just done. I keep saying that, but it has to be for real this time. I just wish that for once, my older brother would stick up for me instead. He has been married for 2 years. He�s been my brother for 28. I�ve never said one bad thing to his wife (in front of him) and I�ve always tried my hardest. There are times when I don�t say much to her, but my mom told me that if I couldn�t be nice to her, then don�t talk to her at all. Here are just some of the things she has done to me: Several years ago, she and my brother went out for my birthday. She complained the entire time and didn�t wish me happy birthday or buy me a drink. Everyone else did, including their friends who I just met that night. At her bridal shower (which I contributed $100 towards) I sat on one side of the room, while everyone else sat on the other. I sat down first and neither her friends, nor her wanted anything to do with me. At that same party, I sat down on the back deck to eat dinner and nobody sat with me (people actually took chairs away from my table and took it to the other one). I was one of the last people out at her bachelorette party because she wasn�t ready to go home yet and all of her friends wanted to leave. She never thanked me for that or even acknowledged that I was there. She and all the other bridesmaids got their nails done together (French manicure) and didn�t a). invite me or b). tell me how to get my nails done. In retaliation, I had pink nails and I wore my long hair down and professionally straightened (everyone else had their hair up). She never thanks people for presents, so my grandparents stopped sending up $25 on each other�s birthdays, which has made me lose out on $75 per year. At family dinners, she and my brother order bottles of wine (expensive wine), so my parent�s stopped taking all of us out to dinner together. Now my parent�s just take me and Jeremy out for my birthday (and do the same for my brothers), so I don�t get to see my brothers (unless I pick a cheap restaurant where the bill won�t be over $200). She has never bought me a present. She and my brother buy one present for me for my birthday and Christmas, but I�m expected to get them 2 separate presents (I�ve refused and for the past 2 years have just gotten something for my brother off of his list and put her name on it too). She was concerned that I would be too fat to be in her wedding. She never helps clean up after holiday meals. My mom, aunts, cousin and I do everything. She has ruined my family holidays because she WILL NOT spend a holiday without her family, so she brings her parents, her sister, her brother-in-law and her niece with her to our family holidays (they are NOT my family) and they are not nice people either. None of them help my mom either. Last Christmas we had my dad�s side of the family along with my sister-in-law�s parents. That�s just weird and not necessary. My brother, who is only 2 years older than me, is no longer my friend. We used to be close (especially in college), but she has driven him away. He doesn�t talk to my parent�s much either � yes, he is that whipped. Okay, okay�enough complaining. There�s nothing I can do about it. If I ask him again, he might stop talking to me all together. My mom�s in the same predicament that I�m in. She thinks my brother is miserable (did I tell you that he no longer has friends because of her?) but there�s nothing that we can do (even though I so badly just want to smack her sometimes). Last thing�Jeremy has 2 job interviews this week (did I tell you how much his current job sucks?!?) and the one on Thursday morning could change our lives completely. If he gets this job, we will finally be able to get engaged, get a house, get married and have children. This will be the beginning of the rest of our lives. Please, send good thoughts, good karma, prayer � whatever you believe in our way. We need this. It would literally and figuratively be the answer to our prayers. 3:15 p.m. - August 22, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||