singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HPV?!? Oh, where to start� HPV is a sexually transmitted disease. Three years ago, after a routine pap smear, my doctor told me that she thought I had HPV (my pap smear came back abnormal � basically any abnormal pap smears, where the cervical cells are abnormal, is probably HPV). After several inconclusive tests and months of pap smears (yes, every month) I finally received a clean bill of health. My cells were normal again and I did not have HPV. Quickly, HPV is horrible. It is incurable and there are several different strains. Some do nothing, the disease just stays dormant in your body (you wouldn�t even know that you had it). Other strains cause cervical cancer, while others cause genital warts. HPV is spread with or without a condom. The only guarantee that you will not get it, is to not have sex (including fondling and oral sex) at all. I�ve seen several statistics about HPV and the number of people who will contract it in their lifetime is staggering (one in four). Fast forward 3 years. I am/have been in a monogamous relationship for almost 2 years. Neither Jeremy nor I have cheated, but he now has a few bumps on the shaft of his penis. It could be nothing, or�it could be genital warts, a.k.a. HPV. I know the disease can lay dormant in your body for several years and then �flare up� � could I have HPV and then unknowingly passed it on to Jeremy (I would be like that horrible man who passed along HIV to every woman he could get his hands on)? I have never (at least to my knowledge) had a wart or anything else abnormal anywhere on my body. I was given a clean bill of health, but after a year of inconclusive tests, who�s to say they�re not wrong? Sadly, after that horrid experience, I stopped getting pap smears. I know, that�s definitely the wrong thing to do, but I figured a few years off wouldn�t hurt me. So Jeremy�s made an appointment to get checked out (the earliest they can get him in is July 30th). Meanwhile, we are not having sex nor are we sleeping in anything less than underwear. I mean, come on, if he has HPV (or anything else for that matter), I certainly do to. I�ve been sleeping with him (without a condom) for 2 years. I am going to get a pap smear, but thought I would wait to see what he has so that I can tell my gynecologist�I hate this. If he/we have HPV � which would make me the grossest person in the world � we could never sleep with anyone else again. Not like I want to, since I know Jeremy�s the one, but it�s almost like my options are gone. If this is true, I HAVE to marry Jeremy and that�s it. My decision was made for me. And truly not like I don�t want to, but now I don�t have a say in it. It�s just done. Can you imagine if we broke up and I started dating someone else? How do you say, �Sorry, if you stick your hand, tongue or penis down there, you�re going to have warty bumps on your penis for life. Ready then?� I just don�t see how it can be HPV. We are monogamous (yes, I�m sure � I asked him so many times if he had the clap from some other girl that he almost left me) and have been for 2 years. Surely something would have come up in the timeframe�unless it was dormant in me waiting to attack � but then, why don�t I have any signs? Maybe I�m just a carrier of the disease (yes, that can happen). So gross. I hate the waiting game�and (this is going to sound bad), I hate that you can count the number of sexual partners Jeremy and I have had (both, added together) on 2 hands. We�ve both been serial monogamists, not one night standers (not that I haven�t had a few). But, I know it just takes one guy and one time. This is such a personal thing to share�I just feel like I must not be the only person to go through a scare like this and if I can help educate anyone about HPV, then so be it. *** I started the South Beach Diet. It�s day 2 and it�s going okay. I do have to say, I miss eating bread, sugar and fats (the unhealthy kind). Basically I�m eating eggs, cheese, lunch meat, salad, veggies, lean protein and oils (extra virgin olive oil). It�s only for 2 weeks though�I can do anything for 2 weeks, right? It is going to suck not being able to drink at the Tom Petty concert on Thursday night. Oh well, beers are $7 each anyway, so we�ll be saving lots of money. *** I had such a great weekend, but not much to tell. Drank Wednesday through Saturday, saw my friends, watched movies, read the new Harry Potter (still not done � I�m reading it very slowly so I can enjoy it fully)�it was just very relaxing and alcohol-filled. I haven�t partied like that in so long. Yeah, Jeremy and I are not able to drink for 2 weeks (because of the diet)�it�s going to be difficult, but so worth it (I hope). 2:57 p.m. - July 19, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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