singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Things Might be Getting Better First off, thank you for leaving me such kind, supportive notes. It means so much � especially because I do not feel like I can talk to my real life friends about this. It�s too embarrassing and too personal. I do want to say that Jeremy is a very hard worker. He is going to school full time (in a city that�s 2 hours away) and is working 12 hour days on the days he does not have school (and half days on the days that he does have school). On the flip side, he has $25,000 worth of debt. Most of it ($16,000) is school; $5,000 is his car and the rest is a loan. School and car debt are normal � most people have them. Saturday was not a good day for Jeremy and me. I was so miserable all day, worrying about our future and what we�re going to do. Finally, after I couldn�t keep it inside any longer, I broke down. I think I scared him � I was shaking and crying and I was just so sad. I�m not sure what conclusion we came to � he promised to get a better paying job. I also told him that I want control of his finances, but I�m not sure how fair that is. It�s his money and we�re not married, so I don�t really feel right about it. He told me that I could though. I�m not sure how much control I have over it if he has his own bank account � and we�re definitely not merging. I�m not taking on his debt. I guess what I really want to do is meet with a financial planner. I want someone to look at our finances and tell us what to do. I just want to know that we�re going to have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, bills paid and a little left over to do something once a week. I also want to not have to take on all the responsibility of providing everything. This is his last difficult week of school. This weekend we are working on his resumes. I actually already spent a lot of time creating his resume (he just needs to add to it), and we need to send it out. Hopefully it won�t take too long. I just want his resume out there, our finances sorted out � I want to know how much he has to pay a month in bills and how much we can afford to spend on food, spending money, etc. I think having guidelines will help so much. We did, however, manage to spend $100 on alcohol on Saturday. It�s quite impressive actually. We got there at 9 and drinks were $2.50. After 11, the prices went up to $3.50. We were there until 2 am � we drank SO much. I had 3 shots, 2 dirty martinis, 5 three olive and diets and 7 beers. I was in rare form. I was flashing my friends (not breasts, just bra), talking to everyone � just acting crazy. I was a fun drunk, which is what I needed (that sounds bad, but I hadn�t gone out in several weeks). Oh, and my friend who moved home was out and everything was fine. Hopefully it stays like that. Yesterday, Jeremy and I went to a movie (this entire weekend was on him � I think he was feeling guilty, but he�s going to be super broke until he gets his next paycheck, which isn�t until May 6th). We saw Sin City, which I wasn�t that impressed with. It was interesting, but I just didn�t think it was as good as the reviews it received. It was fun seeing a movie again though. Oh, and some guy was SMOKING in the theater. It was hilarious. I kind of wondered if we were all on the MTV show Boiling Point or something. Who smokes clove cigarettes in a movie theater? He was also sitting in front, so everyone could see him. Finally some guy told on him and he was asked to put it out, but was allowed to stay. The hell? We also had amazing sex last night, which leads me to ask a question. Is it better to have good sex 2 or so times a week, or really mind blowing sex once a week? 11:17 a.m. - April 25, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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