singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Hate Myself (thank you PMS) This is my second entry of the day (oh yeah, y�all are lucky like that). Whenever I�m PMS-ing, I have super low self-esteem and super bitch comes out. Sometimes I secretly like her, but for the most part, she�s not fun. I can never find clothes to wear the weekend I have my period. It�s also the weekend when I am so supercritical and thoughts like, �That girl is so pretty. You are the ugliest girl in the world � you should die,� run through my head. And then there are the thoughts, �Jeremy is looking at that girl. He obviously likes anorexic blondes with silicone. You can�t compete. You are so fat and ugly � you should die.� For the most part, all I want to do is lie under a blanket and be left completely alone. I only want to watch movies with ugly people in it and I don�t want to hear about how �beautiful� I am (Jeremy�s words, not mine). So, this is how I am 1 � 2 days of every month. Some months it�s not that bad, other months it�s awful. I think this month it�s going to be awful. I can�t tell yet because I�m sitting at work and we�re not going out until tomorrow night (so I won�t have to compete with my friends and other girls at the bar until then � and yes, when I�m PMS-ing, it�s me against all of the other girls in the world). The reason I think it might be bad this month, is because I just talked to Jeremy on the phone about the new movie Sin City. It looks cool, he wants to see it and it got good reviews. There are also lots of hot women in it and there�s �lots of glorified nudity� (according to a few reviews I�ve read about it). Jeremy�s very excited reaction to that really pissed me off (yeah, yeah he�s a guy, but that triggered the thought, �He obviously wants someone who looks like Jamie King or Jessica Alba, so I should never get naked in front of him again�). So yeah my reaction led to a discussion (okay, argument) about this matter. I told him that seeing a movie with lots of naked whores traipsing around would not be something I want to do right now. I told him that it would make me feel bad about myself and that I think it�s disgusting that he would (I�m just assuming here) want to sleep with me afterwards because of watching these other girls. So, we agreed that if we see the movie, there will be no sex for 2 weeks (actually I just shouted it into the phone and slammed it down, but that seems like an agreement to me). See, Super Bitch can be fun. And yes, I realize that I�m SO overreacting (but I can because I�m PMS-ing), but just for once � just once, I want there to be a movie where there are so-so looking girls who are fully dressed, but making out with HOT men who are fully naked. Let�s see if Jeremy wants to get it on with me after that. Or do you think he would be worried about if his penis was large enough or if I was thinking about him or the hot men I just saw naked? Wouldn�t it just be fun if we could switch things up like that? I bet men would start taking steroids, shaving their entire bodies and getting penile implants. Ladies, this could be the new thing�how can we get this to work? 2:36 p.m. - April 01, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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