singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- More About Jeremy's Family I�m not sure that I was 100% clear in my last entry. While I was judging and poking fun at Jeremy�s family, please know that I�ve never once said anything bad about his family to him. This is why I have this diary � I can vent my feelings here so I don�t feel like I am holding them in. And, please note that I don�t think we can�t have a wedding simply because of Jeremy�s family � my family is to blame too. They are very judgmental and I truly believe that if/when they meet Jeremy�s family, my family will never be able to look at Jeremy the same. I don�t want my family to judge Jeremy because of his family, but I also know that I can�t change them. And also, please note that I don�t just not like Jeremy�s family because they�re trashy (and yes, I hate the term, but it�s the easiest one I can use to describe Jeremy�s family), but some of them are not good people. His sister was smoking pot out of a bullet while breast feeding her baby. She also smacks her children across the face. I don�t want her at the wedding. His brother is a drug addict and an alcoholic and possibly a child molester (he�s the one that told the sexual jokes about 9 year old girls) I don�t want him at the wedding. His sister was married to a man who abused her and her children. She still hasn�t completely left him and continues to let him terrorize her and her children. I don�t want her abusive husband (ex, I think) at the wedding. His cousin is a drug addict and a drug dealer. I don�t want him at the wedding. And not only do I not want these people at my wedding, I don�t want them in my life. I�m not blaming his family for being poor (hello, I am too), but I do blame them for some of the choices they made in life (i.e. drug addict, child abuser, etc.). I do not really want to associate with those kinds of people, and just because I am marrying someone doesn�t mean that I have to change my principals or ideals. If you think I would let any one of them around my children (without me present), you�re crazy. I have talked to Jeremy about the behaviors some of his family members make and he agrees with me � he wouldn�t want his children exposed to that either. If he didn�t see a problem with it, we wouldn�t be getting married. Do I wish more than anything that Jeremy�s family was �normal�? Yes. Sometimes, when I�m being really, really selfish, do I secretly blame him for not being able to have a wedding? Yes. And sometimes, like last night even, I lay in bed awake wondering how we will even be able to get married. I wonder if we should just elope, but I want a bachelorette party, a wedding shower and a reception. And, like everyone else out there, I also want the presents that come along with it. Jeremy and I are starting from nothing � wedding presents would help so much. I don�t think wanting a traditional wedding (with the presents) is wrong � if it was, why does everyone do it? But, on the same note, is marrying Jeremy worth giving all that up? Of course. But, this is also where I stamp my foot and whine about how most people don�t have to chose between the wedding day from hell or nothing at all. My engagement is going to be bittersweet. I will be so excited to marry Jeremy, but at the same time, we�re going to have to start deciding what we want to do about our wedding. Did you know that his parent�s didn�t even go to any of his sibling�s weddings (yeah, his family is weird like that), but for some reason, everyone is gung ho over ours. I think it�s because they�re excited that Jeremy�s marrying into a �rich� family. And please note, that my family is not �rich,� we just have more money than his family and my dad is very generous with his children. His family always makes comments about money around me. Or they look me up and down � I feel like I�m on display. It doesn�t help that Jeremy says things like, �Stop kicking me with your $3o0 boots,� to me within earshot of his entire family. He actually said that at the funeral and pissed me off so much. Everyone looked at me like I was an alien or something. I have NEVER once said anything about my family or money to anybody in his family � I think it�s rude and pretentious (especially talking to people who have none). After feeling like everyone was judging me and talking to me about money, I finally asked him if he told his parents about my family and money. He did. So, in some ways I feel like his family just wants to attend the wedding to go to a fancy party and to see how the other side lives. I�m sure I�m wrong, but it�s just funny that all of a sudden his dad�s all willing to rent a tux when before he wouldn�t even toy with the idea of wearing a suit? So yeah, please don�t think I�m a horrible person, but I truly don�t know how the fuck we are going to do this. 4:45 p.m. - March 01, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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