singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Funeral What a long, and not very good, weekend. Both the calling and the funeral were nice. His grandfather was in a lot of pain and now he is at peace. Jeremy was very sad, but it was good for him to see his family and to say goodbye to his �Grandpa Boogey.� Okay, I�ve said this before, but it bears repeating, I cannot believe how different our families are. It�s shocking actually and I�m so happy and grateful that Jeremy is more like my family than his. If he wasn�t, then we would not be dating. I just don�t think that I would find him attractive. Here is a list of some of the people that were there this weekend� His mom � she is so sweet and giving. She even tried to send us home with a NASCAR blanket throw for our couch (not kidding). But, she is genuinely sweet and caring. His dad � he wore jeans, a t-shirt and suspenders the entire weekend. He actually said to me (proudly, I might add), �I wore the holiest shirt I could find. I ain�t changing my appearance. I don�t even care if it�s for a goddamn funeral.� His dad made comments like this all weekend. Finally I realized that it�s because he�s embarrassed about how he looks. They have no money to buy clothing, so he puts up this huge front so people don�t feel sorry for him. It�s sad, but still. I also realized that he and Jeremy are more alike than I thought. His dad would give anybody anything if they asked, which is how Jeremy is. His dad is the head of the family, the caretaker, and if you can get past his appearance and his awful grammar and swear words, then you can see who he truly is. He�s so giving and caring � he even tried to barter some of his artwork this weekend to �buy� me turquoise jewelry (he tried to do this when they barely have enough money to buy food). His sister � not the awful lesbian (she�s not awful because she�s a lesbian, and actually she�s bi-sexual, but she hits on me in very inappropriate ways in front of his entire family), pot smoking, trailer park living sister, but his other sister. She barely spoke 2 words to me the entire time. Jeremy didn�t really talk to her either � she looks like she�s lived a hard life. Her ex-husband is in jail for something or other (I know he physically abused her) and she was in court on and off all weekend dealing with that. His brother � Jeremy hadn�t seen him in 11 years (he�s lived in Jeremy�s hometown the entire time but he doesn�t keep in much contact with the family) and he�s an alcoholic. I also think he might be a huge pervert because he kept telling sex jokes involving 9 year old girls. Creepy. Jeremy�s other 2 siblings (the brother from Florida and his awful-sister) didn�t even show up. His nieces � they were pretty nice and normal. The 18 year old, however wore a very short, very tight mini-skirt to the calling and when she sat down, she wasn�t wearing any underwear and she had her legs wide open. I saw everything, probably looked shocked and when I looked at her again, she smiled at me. I really think she did it on purpose, but that�s gross and I don�t think anyone else saw. His cousin � I met him before (he�s the one who I thought was black, but later realized it was just grease from a car) and he�s okay. He looks like he was inbred though � his eyes are slightly crossed and he just looks like those typical dumb, rednecks you see in the movies. He also doesn�t look at me when I�m speaking, but that could be an illusion (i.e. crossed eyes). He filmed the entire funeral, which I thought was weird. That�s about all the family he has. His mom�s sister was there, but she didn�t talk to me�the rest were family and friends. The biggest difference that I noticed is manners. His family (with the exception of his mom and dad) didn�t really try to talk to me or include me in anything (I realize that this was a funeral, but still). My family would have spent more time talking to him and making him feel welcome. With that is the appearance of his family. They all dress badly. Sweatpants, flannel, tennis shoes � things like that. Jeremy and I looked horribly out of place in our clothes (he wore a suit and I wore church-type clothes), but dressing appropriately for the funeral was important to him (thank God). Also, most of the women do not do their hair, wear makeup or have nice teeth (the men have horrible teeth too). I know it�s because of money, but still. Other things are the grammar, the cursing (every other word) and just some of the things that they say and do. I swear, these are some of the things that I overheard this weekend� �My fianc�s family is not coming to our wedding because I�m marrying my brother.� First off � wouldn�t you both have the same family? And second off, isn�t that illegal and disgusting? She (friend of Jeremy�s family) explained that he was actually her step brother and that they weren�t blood relatives (even though they grew up together in the same household). Ew. �Is Charlene still in jail? It�s for prostitution and possession of crack, right?� This was his cousin talking to Jeremy. Thank God Charlene is not a family member, but an ex-family friend (they all hate her). Could you imagine marrying in to a family that has a prostitute?!? Let alone a crack addict?!? �If we can�t get them military guys up here to do a salute to Grandpa Boogey, I�m going to go over to Big Jim�s House and get me a gun and do my own salute at the gravesite.� Jeremy�s cousin talking to Jeremy. He didn�t do it, thank God. I�m not sure I would be still be here if that was the case (It sounds like a bad joke - what do you get when you cross a cross-eyed redneck, a shotgun and a 10 gun salute at a funeral...) So yeah, after all this, I have to ask myself, how in the hell are we going to have a wedding? We�re not. The differences in our families are too big and there is no way that we can do it. Even though his dad told us this weekend that he would be willing to rent a tux for our wedding, I still don�t think this is something we can do. This sounds bad, but I would be too embarrassed. For me and for Jeremy. He kept talking about how trashy his family was all weekend (I never said one word about them). I just kept telling him that it doesn�t matter, but the truth is that it does. His family is poor, fine. It�s not that, it�s the fact that they�re trashy. I truly like his mom and dad, but nobody else. This was the first time, though that he said anything truly negative about them. Maybe it�s because he�s lived away from them enough to realize how bad it is. When you�re around them all the time and grew up in it, it�s probably hard to see. Oh, and lastly? A quote from Jeremy about the minister, �You know you�re at a white trash funeral when the minister is from the local race track.� Amen, brother. 3:52 p.m. - February 28, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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