singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Good Dinner, but NOT the Best Company I forgot how much I loved steak. I definitely did not stay on my diet last night. We went to one of the best steak houses in the city and I took full advantage. I had bread (but no butter � see, I tried), salad with ranch, a 12 ounce New York strip (medium rare), mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, 3 bites of chocolate mousse cake and 3 rum and diets. I�m drooling just thinking about it now. I would also like to say that I am SO different from the rest of my family. I am definitely the black sheep, so to say. My brother and his wife were discussing things like their new Ethan Allen furniture, their upcoming trip to Italy and George Bush (every last member in my family is a Republican, except for me. I literally have to tune them out when the subject of politics comes up because I get raging mad). My youngest brother was discussing his internship possibilities for the summer, which will either be at a prominent law firm or the new Governor�s office (who I think is the biggest jackass since George Bush). Meanwhile, there I am, poor as dirt compared to everyone else in my family, with nothing of interest to add to the family discussion. I could talk about my vacation plans to Florida, but that seems to pale in comparison to my older brother�s vacation to Italy. I could talk about my low-paying (and even though I work at a non-profit and help others all day long, my family thinks I have shit job because I make no money) job, but that pales in comparison to my little brother�s internships. I could talk about how I have NO furniture, but again, not really interesting compared to listening about how my brother and his wife just refurnished their entire house. Going out to dinner makes me feel sad and pathetic compared to everyone else. Oh, and my older brother made me so mad last night. Jeremy was cutting his steak (a little too forcefully) and made the table shake. My brother stopped what he was doing and glared at Jeremy until he was done cutting. I was so angry, that I stopped what I was doing and glared at my brother. He noticed and acted like nothing was wrong. If he wants a battle, bring it the fuck on. I HATE his wife and have held my tongue for years. The rage I could unleash would shock everyone. It would completely end any relationship my brother and I will ever have, but I will not have him disrespect Jeremy, especially when I have endured his wife and her bitchiness. That being said, my older brother started calling me at 7:45 this morning to apologize. He didn�t bring up the incident itself, but he kept asking if I was mad at him and then told me that he had too much to drink. I guess if nothing else, my brothers still fear my temper. No, I don�t lose it too often, but when I do, it�s NOT a good thing. And I told my mom on him, which is so 4th grade, but hey, I�ve been doing it since then, so why stop? She was appalled that he would do that, and I�m sure he will get an earful from her. It�s one thing for my family to think of me as a reject and a joke, but I will not have them think that of Jeremy. I think he might be the only one who loves me for who I am. I know my family loves me, but the love me in spite of being a Democrat, in spite of being poor, in spite of being a feminist, in spite of not caring about money, in spite of being almost 30 and not married. Jeremy just loves me. He loves me because of all those things and much more. I�m just emotional today. I think it�s also because today is the 3 year anniversary of my best friend�s death. That�s long to say, so we�ve been calling it Susan�s Day. So yeah, it�s her day and it sucks. 11:50 a.m. - January 28, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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