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singlegirl's Diaryland Diary

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I'm a Bitch, But He Definitely Deserves It

Things are so-so right now. Sometimes I think that Jeremy just made a stupid mistake and other times I think he�s the biggest piece of lying shit ever. Basically I�ve been on an emotional rollercoaster all weekend and yesterday I decided that I needed to eat. And eat. I�m not giving up my diet though. I lost 4 pounds last week and I�m back at it again today.

I�ve been super mean to him the past few days, and it scares me that I get such satisfaction out of it. I�ve been so hateful towards him and I don�t feel badly about it at all. I�ve also purposely physically hurt him � not like punching or anything, but if I get out of bed, I�ll �accidentally� jam my elbow into his forearm with all of my weight. I know it�s stupid, but I just want him to hurt as much as I do.

So that�s where I�m at now. Most likely we�ll stay together, but when we kissed last night, something felt different. Bad different, but we�ll see.

I also decided last night to withhold sex � sort of. I came, and then rolled over and went to bed. I decided that I didn�t need to return the favor. Yeah, I�m that mean.

3:41 p.m. - December 06, 2004

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