singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He's Not a Cheater, He's an Asshole I only have 10 minutes, so this will have to be a quick update. I confronted Jeremy last night. I was too angry and hurt not to. Plus, I looked at the date when he sent the email and it was last Tuesday � she might have already replied and he could have deleted it. I was very calm. I explained to him why I was on his email account (it was a great lie by the way). He knows that I have his password. We�ve been trying to download NetZero on our home computer, but have been having a hard time. He emailed them and got a technical support number. I told him I had some down time at work, and logged on to get the number (so innocent, right?). So, I tell him that and then asked him �what this was� and handed him a copy of the letter. He sat there and read the whole thing and said, �It�s nothing,� and crumpled it up. We talked back and forth about it (I explained how I felt � refer to the previous entry if you need a refresher), and he didn�t really have an answer. He said that his friends are like that with one another. After awhile, he admitted that it wasn�t appropriate and that he would never speak to his friends like that again. I believe him (there wasn�t really anything in the letter to indicate that he was cheating on me). However, there are things that still bother me. 1. He tried to turn it around on me. It was my fault that I didn�t meet Brianne (the girl�s name). He told me that he didn�t get a �vibe that I wanted to meet his friends.� 2. It would be one thing if I knew his friends and knew the kind of relationship they had. I hate that I don�t know any of them. If he and Brianne are this friendly through email, how do they greet each other? Dry humping? Why is he so friendly with someone I�ve never even heard of? 3. The actual email. I go over it again and again in my mind and it makes my blood boil and it makes me sick. I�ve been a bitch to him the past 24 hours and I hope I can stop soon. I just don�t want him around me right now. Just looking at him makes me angry. Last night I told him I was going to get smokes and was gone for 2 hours. I just pushed my grocery cart up and down every aisle, buying things that I didn�t really need. I haven�t really spoken to him. I haven�t kissed him. I haven�t returned his calls. I won�t let him touch me. I just feel like if I go back to �normal� it�s like I�m telling him that everything�s okay, when it�s not. And in reality, I know that this email is harmless. It was NOT appropriate for him to flirt, but I truly do not believe that anything happened. And yes, soon I�ll put everything behind me and move on with him, but you better believe that I am going to check his email and phone records for awhile. If anything like this happens again, we will be over. I just hate that he turned me into this girl. I�ve checked his email 3 times today already. 5:34 p.m. - September 08, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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