singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is Jeremy a Cheater? Okay, so what I am about to tell you is wrong. I checked Jeremy�s email account. I know, I know...it�s a horrible thing to do and I should just innately trust him. And, for the most part I do. I check it maybe once a month, at the most. In the past I�ve never found anything questionable or wrong � until today. Before I post the email. I need to vent. Fine, what I did was wrong. I get that. But, why are guys such assholes? If I was a liar and a cheater than maybe I wouldn�t care, but I�m not. My life is an open book. Jeremy knows everything about me. I would never cheat on him and he can 100% completely trust me. He�s never had to question me or my motives � ever. On the contrary, I have yet to date a guy that I haven�t had to question. Let�s review a few of Jeremy�s lies/issues that bothered me, and to be honest, still bother me. 1. He had a jar of ginger in the fridge, which he flipped out about once I asked him where it came from. Immediately he told me that he didn�t remember. Later he told me that his friend Crystal made him dinner. Who is Crystal? Why did she fix him dinner? The ginger was not there when we started dating. Why did he get so mad? Was it more than dinner? 2. His friend called and wanted to go out with him. He told her he was tired. He never said that he couldn�t go because his girlfriend was there. Why wouldn�t he tell his friend that he was hanging out with his girlfriend? Did he not want her to know for a reason? 3. He told me that he threw away all of his old girlfriend�s things, but I found them a few weeks later. If you remember, I didn�t ask him to throw them away (I didn�t care that he had them), I just didn�t understand why he lied about it. 4. I haven�t met most of his friends. He has tons of girls� numbers in his phone who I�ve never even heard of. I hate that I don�t know his friends. He never sees them anymore and they don�t call. Again, he knows everyone in my life. From my best friend, to my ex, to my boss, to my relatives � everyone. I hate this awful feeling in my stomach. I hate that I�m on the verge of tears. I hate that I am questioning him. I have always felt with him that sometimes he tells me what I want to hear instead of telling me the truth. My gut instinct is usually right on. Do you know how pissed I�ll be if I find out that he�s been cheating on me? The girl who opened up her home and pays the rent and makes him every meal and introduced him to lots of new people, and helped him find a job, and loves him more than she�s ever loved anyone. I might honestly kill him. Or myself. I cannot go through this again. Or maybe I should just fuck it and start cheating and keeping secrets myself. Would that make me feel better? Okay, with all that being said, here�s the email. Is this even enough evidence? How do I tell him that I found it? Who is the bitch? She hasn�t replied yet, so you better believe that the first thing I do every morning is check his email. I hate that I am that girl, but if I don�t protect myself, who the fuck will? Subject: Hey sexy lady... How are things going for you in the fort? I have been thinking about you and am missing you. I am doing pretty well down here. It definitly moves at a faster pace down here in Indy. I also wanted to let you know that I am taking courses up there. I decided to stick it out since I am so close to finishing my degree. The thing that sucks. The fact that I have to get up at five in the morning. So that my happy ass can get to the campus on time for class. I am there only on Thursdays and mainly at the north campus. I do have Advanced Techniques in the afternoon with Josh. That class is going to be fun. Let me know what's up with you. Lots of love OXOXOXOX Okay, so he�s not professing his love to her. But, why the fuck does he call her sexy lady? He doesn�t call me that. Why the fuck is he thinking about her and missing her? Why is he signing his emails with love, hugs and kisses? Why don�t I know about this girl? Maybe I�m overreacting. I just hate that he has these secrets from me. I know that couples don�t have to tell each other everything, but I guess I expect that. I need input and feedback. 3:04 p.m. - September 07, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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