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singlegirl's Diaryland Diary

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Not a Good Vacation

I�ve been on �vacation� since Wednesday - which has been nice, but kind of boring. Wednesday, my mom and I worked out in the morning and then went to the pool. Wednesday night Jeremy and I worked out and then went to bed. Thursday morning my mom and I went spinning and then shopped all day. Friday morning Jeremy and I worked out and then did nothing for the rest of the day. My body was so exhausted from the amount of working out and weight lifting that I could barely walk.

Yesterday a group of us went downtown to a festival. There were live bands, food and fireworks. It was nice to actually do something � I�ve been so worn out lately. Today we�ve done nothing but mope around the house. I�ve been so exhausted and feeling �blah� lately � I haven�t wanted to do anything. I�m probably just tired, but part of me thinks that maybe I�m depressed. I�m sure that I�m just in a funk.

A few of my friends are still in Florida on their vacation. They decided not to leave before the hurricane, so I�m not sure when they�ll make it home. My roommate returned on Thursday (tan of course) and they had a fantastic time. I�m glad that they did, but it�s hard to hear it. I hate that I�m too fat and too poor to go on vacation.

Speaking of too fat�I had an embarrassing moment on Friday night. Jeremy was giving me a full body massage on his table, when the leg broke. And sure, the table was old and it was being used a lot (by big burly baseball players), but still. It�s really embarrassing to be naked and vulnerable when you hear a cracking noise and a table falling beneath you.

And it really didn�t help that when I said, �I�m sorry Jeremy. Guess my fat ass was too heavy for the table,� it was met with dead silence. That�s when I got dressed and went outside on our balcony to debate whether or not throwing myself over the edge would result in death or more embarrassing injury. The incident hasn�t been talked about since.

So, the fact that I spent the week with my incredibly in shape mother (she used to be overweight and worked really hard to lose it � and she looks fantastic), while my friends were partying in Florida, and still managed to break a massage table even though I�ve been working out like a maniac really fucking sucks (actually the hanging out with my mom part was nice, it just makes me jealous sometimes).

Oh, and I found out that Jeremy and I weigh exactly the same amount, which considering he�s an ex football player, isn�t good. And I owe $500 on my credit card in the next few weeks, which is going to make eating healthier pretty much impossible (maybe I just shouldn�t eat).

No fucking wonder I�m in a funk. Maybe I should have thrown myself over the balcony Friday night (kidding - sort of). No, I�ll just keep plugging away and hope that I start to see results soon. Please God, let me see results soon.

3:44 p.m. - September 05, 2004

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