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singlegirl's Diaryland Diary

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Lovers or Friends?

Ever since our argument on Wednesday, I�ve been thinking about our relationship. I do not want things between Jeremy and I to become so comfortable that we fulfill the �friend� role more than the �lover� role.

Of course Jeremy and I are friends � we�re best friends, but in a relationship there has to be more. Sometimes I wonder if Jeremy and I went from intense passionate lovers to best friends. I want to be both � and I think most successful marriages have both components.

I understand that once the newness of a relationship wears off, some of the initial lust goes too - but the passion and the love should always be there. How do you tell what you have?

I think I have the passion and the friendship, but sometimes the line is so blurry that I can�t tell. I think Jeremy and I are just too comfortable in our routine. We need to shake things up and try new things.

Or maybe I�m just in a funk today. I�m in the mood to do something spontaneous and wild. Something different and fun.

But, what will I really be doing today? Sitting behind my desk. And then after work, I�ll be going to the gym and then home to make dinner. I might go out with my friends after that, but I�m not sure how much money we have or how much energy I�ll have left.

God. Blah, blah, blah, boring! What do I want out of life? I need to stop complaining about this and do something about it. I just don�t know what.

Right now I�m either in the mood to throw a fit and cry into my bed, which will lead to a nap, or smoke some cigarettes and drink some wine with my best friends while we talk about life. Neither one are possible, so I guess I�ll get back to my Excel spreadsheet.

I�m blaming the weather on this mood of mine. It�s not supposed to be 65 degrees and cloudy in the usually sweltering Midwest!

1:39 p.m. - August 12, 2004

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