singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Book Club Meeting Tonight is my first book club meeting. I decided to expand my horizons (and try new things), but I�m kind of nervous. I only know one person in the book club (she and I share an office at work � she invited me to join), and everyone (including my co-worker) is in a different stage of life than me. I really think that all of them are either married or married with children. I believe that they are all in their early 30�s and to them; I know I�m going to seem so young. I�m just at a different stage of life � I�m single and have no responsibilities except to myself. I think it�s going to be more difficult to earn acceptance to this group since I can�t share my tales of marriage and children. I sincerely doubt they�d enjoy my story about farting during sex. Eh, they might enjoy it, but there�s no way in hell I�m sharing that one. I just hate how shy I am. I tell people that, and they laugh � but that�s because they know me. I just can�t think of anything to say to people I don�t know. It�s especially intimidating when there are 12 people I don�t know � and especially since they�re all friends. I just have this image in my mind (not unlike my sister-in-law�s Bachelorette Party) where I�m on one side of the boat while the other 12 girls are laughing about poopy diapers on the other side. I�m also worried about what my co-worker will think of me. She�s the one who brought me into the group � what if they hate me? I�ll probably stand by her side all evening, talking to whoever she�s talking to (I tend to cling to people I know), which I�m sure will annoy her. Seriously? Am I getting this worked up over a fucking book club meeting? If I hate it, I don�t have to go back. If they hate me, then I don�t have to go back. And at least we have a pre-determined topic of conversation � The DaVinci Code, which was really very good. I just need to drink a lot � that tends to loosen me up. And have confidence in myself. I need a list of questions to ask people when I am introduced to them. See, this is why I don�t try new things � I get myself all worked up. Speaking of trying new things...if we can find an affordable class, Jeremy and I are going to take cooking lessons. We also have a gift certificate to take dancing lessons, which might have expired, so see � we�re getting more cultured. We want to learn how to salsa (that sexy type of dancing in Along Came Polly). Not that we�ll ever go to salsa clubs to show off our moves, but we can have fun at home. In a few weeks, Jeremy starts school, which is going to put a damper on our mornings. Right now, we both sleep in until 7:45 and then snuggle and talk for another 15 minutes. After that, we shower together, and I make him breakfast while he�s getting ready. He eats and leaves, and then I have almost an hour to do my own thing. It�s very nice and relaxing. In two weeks, he�s going to work 4, 10-hour days, so he�ll be leaving at 7 am. The other day he has to leave for school (2 hours away) at 5:30 and won�t get back until 11 or so. That�s going to suck big time. He�ll be so tired every night (and doing homework) that we�ll never get to spend relaxing, quality time together. Oh well, at least he�ll graduate in May (hopefully). Okay, going to my book club meeting. Wish me luck. 5:13 p.m. - July 28, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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