singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Visit From Susan I�ve calmed down a bit since my last entry. I�m still not going to go to Florida. Mostly because I don�t feel like I deserve to go. I need to do something about my weight, and rewarding myself with a trip is not the way to do it. Plus, in reality I cannot afford to go on vacation. If I save my money for anything, it should be for health insurance or to pay off my credit cards. Yes, my parent�s would probably give me the money for my birthday, but I don�t really feel like asking them. So, something kind of freaky, but really neat just happened to me. My boss called me into her office and asked me to shut her door. She asked me if supernatural things freaked me out. I told her no and she started crying - really, really hard. She said, �I see Susie behind you.� Susie (Susan) is my best friend that died two years ago. My boss was talking to her (think of the movie Ghost) and I was asking questions. She said that Susan was very sad and scared, which made me start to cry too. She said that she was upset with how things were between us (Before she died, I was mean to her because she wanted me to meet her new man. I refused because I knew he was a loser � like all her other guys � and didn�t want to see him. I told her that she could meet me out but that he couldn�t come � so, she never came. That�s the last time I spoke to her. But, I was right about him � he�s the one that killed her.). Susan also said that she likes Jeremy (I knew she would) and that he was much better than Ben. She also told me to let go of the accident (i.e. murder) because there was nothing I could do about it. She said that she has been trying to get my attention for a long time (and laughed when I told my boss) what happened on the two year anniversary of her death). On the anniversary (I might have told this story already � sorry I don�t remember), I was getting ready for work when my music box started playing. It�s a wind up music box that all of us girls got after she died. It plays �Wind Beneath my Wings� (yes, I know � kind of cheesy) because our friend sang the song (at a karaoke bar � how classy are we?) in tribute to her. So yeah, I was drying my hair (I was home alone) when I heard music playing. It was sitting on the top shelf of my bookcase (had not been touched in over a year) and played for about ten seconds. It freaked me out and I thought I was losing my mind. What are the odds that the music box would wind itself up and play (while I was in my room) on the anniversary of her death? Not fucking likely. My boss described her and it was pretty accurate. She also said that Susan had a pain in her left shoulder, but I don�t know what that means. She also had a name for me, like a Frankie or Charlie (something that ends in �e�), but I don�t know what that means either. Anyway, there was some other stuff said and, I don�t know. This had never happened to me before. My boss knows that I have a friend that died. She didn�t know her name, my ex�s name, what she looked like � anything. Plus, she�s not a weirdo and she 100% would not lie to me. I�ve known her for 8 months now and I know her and I know she�s telling the truth. She would have absolutely nothing to gain from telling me this. Can you imagine standing in your boss�s office and all of a sudden she starts crying extremely hard and says, �[your dead best friend] says hello.� Freaky! But, it made me feel close to her again. I�m going over tonight to my friend�s house to talk to her about this. My other friends to not talk about her, do not like to talk about her, and do not like to visit her grave. They think it�s freaky and they like to pretend she didn�t exist and nothing happened. The friend I am going to talk to tonight (Abby) is like me. She likes to talk about her and likes to remember things. Seriously it�s almost like if her name is mentioned at a party, it�s a total buzz kill. People get mad and think you are just being dramatic. My friends are weird and it�s just a weird situation. If I died I would want people to remember me and talk about me. I think it would be worse to think that people forgot about you. 4:25 p.m. - July 14, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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