singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fat Bitch Second Entry I am going to be completely honest here. I just talked to my friend who lives in Arizona and we were talking about our upcoming trip. Her family owns a condo on the beach in Ft. Myers, and we have it for 11 days. For free! She invited everyone, but I think only the core group of girls is going to make it (these are my best friends from college - we went to Cancun together a few years ago). It sounds so wonderful and I really, really, really want to go. I haven�t left the state (unless you count my 2 trips to Michigan, which I don�t) for two years. Two years. So, what�s the problem? I have the week off of work, the trip will be cheap, and after all I went through last year (i.e. Ben, losing my job, etc.), quite frankly, I think I deserve it. The problem is, I fucking suck. I�m not sure I can �fit� in the airplane seat (it makes me sick to write that sentence). I won�t be sure until I buy the plane ticket and get onboard. If I don�t fit, what will I do? What the fuck will I do? I just can�t take that risk. The funny thing is, I don�t feel THAT fat and I don�t think I look THAT fat, but somehow I am. I�ve always had big hips (even when I was skinny) and now it�s just killing me that I can�t go on this trip because of my weight. How big of a dumbass am I? Obviously a pretty big one (haha, not really funny). I hate it because I can�t talk to anyone (not even Jeremy) in my real life about this. I�m just too embarrassed. I asked my roommate if she would drive with me (I told her that I didn�t have the money to fly) and she agreed. However, I just looked at plane tickets today and it only costs $130 round trip to fly from Indy to Ft. Myers. I really believe that might be cheaper (or just as cheap) as driving 32 hours roundtrip. I can�t ask her to do that. She�ll wisely point out that flying is cheaper and I�ll have to think of another excuse not to go. Sadly, I�ll probably pull the whole, �I�d rather spend time with Jeremy than with you guys� excuse (which is beyond shitty), which will make all my friends hate me. God, I really hate myself right now. And I guess that this is my punishment for being a big, lazy, fat bitch. No vacation. Fuck you. 1:48 p.m. - July 13, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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