singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Weight As you know, I�m overweight. I haven�t kept it a secret but I haven�t really dwelled on it either. Partly because I�m embarrassed to admit I�m overweight, but mostly because I didn�t want people to think �FAT GIRL� whenever they read my diary. In some ways, my weight completely defines who I am as a person, and in other ways it�s just a number. Oh, and rest assured, I�m not one of those girls who weighs 140 pounds and complains about being fat. I�ve been overweight most of my life. I was �skinny� in high school but gained weight after. I will never have a perfect body and that�s okay - I have big breasts, a small waist, and large hips. I have a very womanly figure and always will, whether I�m overweight or not. I, of course, would prefer not to be, but so far I haven�t been able to change it. Would life be easier if I were skinny? Hell yes. I could stop tugging on my clothes hoping that every imperfection is covered and I could stop imagining what people are thinking about me. Has my life been awful because of my weight? Absolutely not. I�ve grown up having dates and boyfriends (I never missed a dance), I�ve always had a large group of friends (guys and girls), and I can probably count on one hand the number of times I�ve heard someone make fun of me. I�m not sure why my social life and love life haven�t really been affected by my weight. Am I pretty? I think so. Am I as pretty as Angelina Jolie? No. I�m also outgoing and I haven�t let my weight stop me from living. In some ways I think that I have great self-confidence and in other ways I know it�s just an act. And sometimes I like to think that maybe God picked me to struggle with my weight because I can handle it better than most people. And truth be told, I would much rather be fat than ugly or stupid. Luckily I�m just fat � I�m neither ugly nor stupid. I�m writing about this today because my weight and struggles with weight loss have been weighing (Ha! I�m so funny) on my mind lately. Jeremy and I are going to start working out soon. I really hope he is supportive of me and helps me achieve my goals. I know that it�s ultimately up to me, but it�s so much easier if you have someone there fighting with you. Not that he has much fighting to do (he�s actually has a pretty hot body � if you don�t look at his ever growing beer belly) � but he plans on being ripped this summer. I really hope that this time I can successfully lose weight and become the person I know that I am. I want the cool, sexy, hot girl that I am on the inside be apparent to everyone on the outside. 9:51 a.m. - May 20, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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