singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Waiting Game I am possibly the ugliest girl in the world today. It�s snowy and gross outside, so my carefully curled hair is frizzy and in a ponytail, I�m not wearing any eye makeup, I still have to wear my stupid glasses, and my eye is still red and hurts when I blink. And to top it off, I have an awful dry scabby patch on my chin that used to be a zit. Jeremy�s coming in town tonight - I wonder if he would change his mind if he knew what was waiting for him when he gets here. I have to clean my room tonight when I get off of work. I hate cleaning my room, but it is so disgusting right now. I haven�t had time to unpack from my Chicago trip yet and things are everywhere. After I do that, I need to go to the library, pick up something to eat for dinner, watch America�s Next Top Model, shave my legs, and wait for Jeremy to get here. He�s spending all day tomorrow sending out his resume and cover letter. I hope he finds a decent paying job here. He has no good job experience though. He was a bouncer for several years, but doesn�t want to do that again (thank God!) and has since worked in a hospital as a surgical technician. The problem with that is you have to be a licensed for that in Indianapolis, but not where he is from. So, even though he has done it for five years, he is not licensed, and therefore not qualified to work at any hospitals here. So, if you take away those two job experiences, he has nothing other than the fact that he will be a licensed massage therapist in December. What spa or salon is going to hire a student? Anyway, not my problem anymore. I keep getting frustrated with him about this and then we fight, so I decided to let him figure it out on his own. I�m not going to marry him if he doesn�t have a job or can�t support himself. He just procrastinates for so long and then doesn�t get anything done. I�m tired of doing things for him and then having him not follow through on his end. I seriously wanted to kill him this morning...I spent 3 hours last Friday looking up websites for his paper and then emailing it to him in the format he needed them in. The paper is due today and just this morning he realized that he erased everything I sent him. So the three hours I spent on his paper were completely wasted and he had to quickly try to figure it out this morning before class. He also forgot his disk that his paper and works cited page were on, but I luckily I had it with me so I could email them to him. Seriously. He is 27 years old and does shit like that all the time. Sometimes I feel like I have to baby-sit him to make sure he doesn�t completely fail at life. Just a few weeks ago, I looked at his class schedule and realized that he was not taking the classes he needs to graduate in December. Really? Do you know how pissed I would be if I had to wait for him for another semester because he fucked up his school schedule? And then it makes me think that if he can�t do this for himself, how is he going to open his own business one day? He�s not stupid, he just doesn�t think. And I could run the business for him, but since he makes me so mad all the time since he doesn�t think things through, that might not be the best idea. Anyway, instead of getting mad all the time I decided just to stay out of it and let him do it on his own. If he fucks up and can�t get down here, then we�ll just have to see where things are then. I might wait for him or I might think that if he wanted us to work, he would have tried harder. That sounds harsh, and I�m sure I don�t really mean it; I guess I�m just fed up with his slacking off. But, I don�t have to deal with it anymore. Blah. That�s how I feel right now. I just want this week to be over. And I want it to be summer. And I want to wear makeup again - and my contacts. And I want to be engaged. And I want to be enrolled in the MBA program. I want to go on a real vacation. I�m so tired of feeling like I�m waiting for the next phase of my life to begin. I want it to start now. I�ve been waiting since I was 21 and I tired of waiting dammit. 2:47 p.m. - March 16, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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