singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ben is Back *I wrote this yesterday, just didn't have time to update.* Oh boy. I haven�t had a hangover on a weekday in a really, really long time. Thanks Ben. Yes, that�s right � Ben. We went out last night - to the bar we used to go to on Wednesday�s. And I had 6 Gin and Tonics and one shot. I woke up this morning at 6:30 with a huge headache. I took some Tylenol, threw them up, and came to work. Not fun. Ben called me on Tuesday, very upset because his girlfriend broke up with him to get back with her ex-husband (the divorce was just finalized 3 weeks ago). He asked if I would meet him out on Wednesday night because he needed me. Part of me wanted to tell him to fuck off because I�m tired of him needing me (and only talking to me when he needs me), but of course I agreed to meet him. I wasn�t sure what to think. I wasn�t sure if he wanted me back or just wanted to talk. Plus he acts insane when he�s drunk, so I just didn�t know what to expect. My roommate went with me though, which made it better. He was drinking and very sad. We talked and drank, and overall it was nice. It was good to talk to him again. But part of me was a little pissed. I dated him for years, and took care of him and all his problems. His girlfriend broke up with him after 3 months and he was more devastated by that. I even asked him if he was upset after we broke up and he said, �You know that was different.� I guess it just kind of hurt that I gave him everything, he gave me nothing, and he still dismissed me, our relationship, and everything that happened like it was nothing. Asshole. But on the other hand, it made me realize how wonderful Jeremy is. I was so drunk and stupid when I talked to him last night. I�m so confrontational when I�m drunk. I basically told him that I didn�t think we�d ever get married because we�d never be able to afford it. He tried to reassure me, I argued with him, and on and on. I called him this morning to apologize and everything is fine now (I hope). I am thinking about driving 2 hours to see him tonight. He won�t get home until 10pm, and I would have to leave at 5am. Doesn�t really make sense, huh? I probably won�t, but the thought of sleeping in his arms is amazing. We�ll see. I want this day to be over with, so I can go home. I�m tired and I just feel blah. I want to talk to Jeremy again. I know he was disappointed in me for being so drunk last night (he hates the way I act), plus I was 2 hours late in calling him (not a good thing since I was out with my ex), and I just feel like he�s sad. I�ll make it up to him this weekend. Ugh. I don�t want to get back to work. 12:29 p.m. - February 20, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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