singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Drunkard Merry Christmas Everyone! I'm not really in the Christmas spirit, but that's okay. I miss old school Christmas - running downstairs to see what Santa brought us. Spending the night with my brothers tiptoeing downstairs in the middle of the night. Ah, memories. Anyway... This past week has been crazy. Jeremy was here last weekend, which was fun. He came late Friday night and stayed until Monday morning. We went shopping on Saturday, went out Saturday night, and watched Lord of the Rings and the Colts game on Sunday. My friend from Arizona was in town too, so it was so good to see her. I didn't stay out very late though. I got really drunk really fast. My tolerance is shit now. I just never drink anymore, and when I do, I feel like I should be able to drink like I should. Which usually results in me being home by midnight. Jeremy actually left Monday morning, drove 2 hours home, worked for 12 hours, and then drove 2 hours back to me. He's crazy. He forgot something at my house that he needed (he always forgets stuff and has to come back). He stayed on Tuesday and cleaned my room and did dishes while I was at work. I came home, we went shopping, ate dinner, and went out for a friend's birthday. The night sucked. I got drunk again. And I was in a bad mood. Not a good combination. I decided that I was tired of Jeremy, so I was mean to him. I basically told him not to talk to me cause I was in a bad mood. Then later on I made him rank my friends in order of hotness. He never said my name, so I assumed I was last. I got pissed and stormed off, while he's angry and confused, and when we finally talk again he explains that he wasn't even ranking me because he thinks I'm the hottest person in the world. He just thought he was ranking my friends and didn't even put me in that category. Why am I 26 and asking my boyfriend to rank my friends? He did not want to play that game, but I made him. Then, later on I was talking to Ben about Jeremy. I was telling him that I thought Jeremy was the one. My friends kept interrupting me and stepping between Ben and I, and basically talked over us. Then my roommate came up to me and told me to go right now and talk to Jeremy. I look over and Jeremy is sitting at a table staring at me. Nobody tells me who I can and cannot talk to. I apologize to Ben (and how embarassing is it that I look like Jeremy controls who I talk to?), and tell Jeremy that we're leaving NOW. I am so angry at this point. And drunk. His story is that he was never mad that I was talking to Ben. That he didn't care if I talked to him. He was saying that my friends came up to him and were mad for him. That they made the decision to come up to me. He said he was looking at me because all my friends stormed off and ran up to me. He said he was just watching to see what they were doing. I need to talk to my friends more to see if that's true or not. It probably is, because they've done it before. They hate Ben and LOVE Jeremy. They seriously want to clone him. I think they might like him more than me. We went home, talked for hours (keep in mind all of this happened before midnight), and had very average sex. Yesterday when we woke up, we were okay. We decided to put the night behind us and move on. Everything was completely my fault up until the Ben incident. After that I'm not sure what happened. Bottom line, I need to stop drinking. Jeremy doesn't like to drink that much and doesn't like me when I'm drunk. Jeremy likes to go out, have a few beers and hang out with friends. I like the same thing, but I just drink a lot more than him. How stupid would I be to lose him just because I like to get drunk? Hello, my name is Liz and I'm an alcoholic. Not really, I just haven't progressed since my college years. Anyway...things with Jeremy are okay. I just want us to have a really great weekend. He's coming down again Friday night. And staying until Monday. I won't get drunk. I won't get drunk. I promised him. Gotta go eat breakfast. My brother and his wife just got here. Merry Christmas again. 9:21 a.m. - December 25, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||