singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Much Has Happened! I have so much to say...so many things have changed. Obviously the computer is not fixed yet, so I haven't been able to check my email in over a week, which has been weird. Sadly I didn't get anything that great. On the other hand, things with Jeremy are going really really really well. Do you think it's possible to fall in love with someone only after 4 weeks?!? Last weekend (October 25th weekend) was amazing. When he got into town we hung out for awhile and then went to the mall. He wanted to have sex before we left, but I was good and held off like I wanted to. Anyway, the mall was fine -I found a kick ass pair of shoes - and afterwards we went to dinner. We came home, and got ready to go out for my friend's birthday. All day and all night we had a great time together. Interesting conversation, good chemistry, everything. Ben was out again and was a dick. He came up behind me and pressed himself against me and put his arms around me. Thinking it was Jeremy, I leaned back against him and turned my head for a kiss. I was pissed when I saw Ben there instead. He doesn't want me, he wants to piss Jeremy off, which he didn't. After Jeremy and I left, we were up all night talking, having sex, talking, cuddling, having sex, etc... The next day we went to breakfast, where Jeremy spilled and entire glass of ice water on his lap. I managed not to laugh while we were in the restaurant, but after we left I laughed all day. Seriously it was the funniest thing ever. He was so embarassed too, which probably makes me a bitch for laughing, but he was a good sport about it. After he went home and changed, he bought us tickets to the November 30th Patriots/Colts game, and then we went to see Scary Movie 3. That night we went to a bar with my friends to watch football and eat dinner. Okay, this sounds crazy, but after this PERFECT weekend I was having doubts again. I kept thinking that he was too good and too perfect and that something had to be wrong. I was seriously thinking that I would have to keep talking to him until the end of November because of the football game, but after that, I would stop seeing him. I know, I'm fucked up. But all of it changed on Monday. I woke up and looked so nasty. Honestly, I was the ugliest I have ever been in my life. I had an eye infection and an ear infection. The right side of my head was swollen and sensitive because of my ear, and my eyes were RED. Scary ass red. I was in so much pain and I was so embarassed. I walked out of the bathroom and I told Jeremy that I was going to MedCheck and to lock the door behind him when he left. I came home 3 hours later (wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, glasses, no makeup, and I had huge hair) and he was sitting on my couch. He took the day off work, cleaned up my room and was waiting for me. It was the nicest thing anyone has done for me. But wait, it gets better. I go upstairs and shower while he leaves to get us lunch. I'm laying in bed, still looking foul when he comes upstairs carrying this huge box. He bought me this fan/heating remote control thing for my room since I get hot and cold off and on all night. He set it up and showed me how to use it and then went back downstairs to get lunch. He comes back upstairs carrying flowers, movies, and a get-well card. We spent all day in bed watching chick flicks and talking. And he gave me lots of massages to take my mind off my ear. Honestly, it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Ever. How could I not date him? Shit, I don't even deserve him. Okay, so that was last weekend. We talked every day last week on the phone and then on Wednesday, he tells me that after this weekend (last weekend), he was not going to come down the next weekend and then the weekend after that, he has to work. That would mean 3 straight weeks of not seeing him. He tells me this and then ends it with, "I think it would be good to take a break. I don't want us to get on each other's nerves." I am kind of in shock so I just say okay, and then talk a few more minutes and hang up. Of course my friends and I obsessed (okay I obsessed my friends just patiently listened) about the meaning of this for a few hours until I had to call him back to clarify what the fuck he meant. At this point, I don't want to waste my time in another dead end relationship. Of course there's no guarantee, but I'm not going to date someone who wants to take a break after 3 weeks. I call him, and he's shocked that I took it badly. Long story short, we talk about it and I feel better about things. And now I'm to this past weekend. It was good and bad. But mostly good. And scary. But I'm going to start a new entry so this one isn't so long... 1:54 p.m. - November 03, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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