singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Weekend Ugh, the computer cord has not come yet. It's frustrating not being able to check email everyday. Hopefully it will be delivered soon! Okay...this week. Has been boring. I've talked to Jeremy every night except last night. He's coming down again this weekend and staying until Monday. I told him that I couldn't go to him because it's my friend's birthday this weekend, and next weekend is our Halloween party. He told me that he would travel wherever to see me, and is coming both weekends. Okay. I don't know what to think. Last weekend was the first time I saw him since our one night together. Instantly he was all about me. Granted we got to know each other on the phone, but still. I think he just wants a girlfriend so badly. I don't want to date someone who just wants a girlfriend. I want someone who wants me. Maybe I'm being too judgemental and harsh. I tend to do that. I also overanalyze everything. But doesn't everyone? He didn't call me last night. Which is fine, but it's the first time since we met that he hasn't. Mostly it makes me happy - maybe he realizes that we don't have to talk everyday. And he doesn't have to tell me that he misses me everyday. But of course on the other hand, I want to know why he didn't call. Seriously he could be married or engaged. He could have 12 children and be part of a satanic cult. I just need to go to his town and meet his friends to get a better idea. In the meantime, I just need to relax and just go with it. I'm not letting go though. I'm not going to completely open up to him until I know for sure he's real. And real about me. I so wish I could get into his head and figure out what he's thinking. Guys are so hard to understand. Okay, so back to last weekend. Ben met Jeremy. Ben wasn't supposed to be out, so when he walked into the bar, I honestly got the wind knocked out of me. I pointed him out to Jeremy, who immediately asked me if I was okay. After awhile I went over to Ben to see how he was. I asked if he wanted to meet Jeremy and he told me not yet. So for most of the night, Jeremy and Ben avoided each other. Ben would talk to me when Jeremy was talking to other people. Ben said a few things loudly (so Jeremy could hear) like, "I'm wearing the sweater you bought me." And at one point he also put his beer bottle in my cleavage like he used to (don't ask). There were also a few times when my friends came up to me, all angry, telling me to stop talking and flirting with Ben. There is just still more chemistry between Ben and I than there is between Jeremy and I. I'm not sure what's going to happen this weekend. I'm guessing that I'll have a much better idea about how I feel on Monday. And I'm not sure what we should do today. Last weekend we went to a movie and dinner. We could do it again, but it's kind of expensive. But today is rainy and cold and blah outside. We could have sex all day, but I think I'd rather spend time with him getting to know him better. I know we'll have sex all night, tomorrow morning, all night tomorrow night, and Monday morning. I have never met a guy so horny and with such a quick turnaround time. Very nice. Okay...going to go back to my house to get ready. I think he's coming in a few hours. Hopefully I'll be able to update on Monday. 10:22 a.m. - October 25, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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