singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No Job My interview today did not go as expected. The job they are hiring for did not match the job description. So, I am not qualified for it, nor do I want to do it. It involves training and public speaking, neither of which I like to do � so back to square one. I spent much of today looking for jobs on the Internet, and I came to the conclusion that there are none. I�m not sure what I�m going to do. I have to get fitted for my bridesmaid dress tonight. I�m not sure who the model for the dress was, but the amount of extra room in the chest is insane. I have fairly large boobs (I�m in the double letters), and there is a good extra 6 inches of room. If they can�t alter it, I�m probably going to have to wear 5 padded bras. If this can�t be fixed, my future sister-in-law will kill me for waiting until the last minute to get the dress altered. HaHa. There is an email circulating to staff and board members that Friday is my last day. In the email it also says that I did not want a going away party and to not ask me about my future job because I have had some trouble finding a new position. This email makes it sound like I�m leaving on bad terms, which I�m not. The truth is, my boss asked me if I wanted them to throw me a going away party. I didn�t think it was necessary (especially with the budget cuts), but I wasn�t upset about it. Oh well, it will give people something to gossip about. I did pretty well on my diet yesterday. I did have a plain hamburger for dinner, but I had a few more beers than I said I would � I had 3 beers and 1 rum and diet. So, that�s about 350 calories. I only ate 920 food calories yesterday, so I still was about a thousand below what is recommended. I�m feeling fat though. I�m not sure why�I�ve been doing really well, but now I have a fear that the pills are no longer working. It�s irrational but it�s bothering me. I think the pills are making me want to smoke. I am a very social smoker. I don�t smoke everyday � just on weekends if I�m out. And even then, I don�t smoke very much at all. I never crave them or smoke when I�m stressed. Until now. I�m not sure what�s going on, but I have wanted to smoke a lot ever since starting Meridia. I�m sure it�s not at all related, but I don�t like it. It might also be the amount of stress I�m under too. And I can�t even bite my nails anymore because I have to grow them out for the wedding - they sure are asking a lot of me. I saw Ben last night while I was watching football. I was with friends (his and mine) at a bar, and he walked in to give his friend money that he owed him and left. He didn�t really say much, just hi and bye. And when I text messaged him yesterday to tell him that we were going to watch the game. He didn�t really respond. I don�t understand him. He�s so nice sometimes and an asshole other times. He woke me up Sunday morning just to say hi, and then one day later can barely even look at me. He�s weird. He looked gross last night to. HaHa. Okay, enough of my boring day. I�m going to go finish some things and then go to the alteration shop, which is about 40 minutes away in rush hour traffic. Blah. 4:00 p.m. - August 26, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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