singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Drunk-Ass Why have I puked twice this week because of alcohol? I was so sick Wednesday night. I threw up at the bar, in the parking lot, and at home. And I'm so embarassed because I know the people who work at the bar. I'm sure they loved cleaning the toilet after I puked. I just remember people staring at me in shock because I was so drunk. I had puke all over my face at one point, but I just don't remember if it was when I was at the bar or at home. I go to this bar every week. I'm going to have to apologize to everyone for making such an ass out of myself. Ugh. I blame the medicine. There is a warning label on it that says in increases the effects of alcohol. No shit. Ben spent the night. It was good though. He took care of me. We had a lot of fun together and because I was drunk enough, I told him things that I never would have sober. To sum it up, I told him he was an asshole in Michigan, that I wasted my time with him - especially the last year, and that he was the most selfish asshole I've ever met. I told him that he was lucky to have someone love him so much and that he fucked up by losing me. He agreed and apologized, and told me he was a bastard and that he was lucky to have me. I made him cry. That felt good. He was really upset when I told him that he was a waste of my time. He was though. I gave so much of myself and after 3 years, I got nothing in return. He is a selfish mother fucker, but for some reason, I can't hate him. I guess I should just be happy that I didn't waste anymore time with him. I also talked to him about how depressed I've been lately. I knew I could talk to him about it. He's been through it. Shit, I was there. We've been through it. He held me and we talked (and I cried) until 5 am. Then I had to go to work yesterday. I looked so ugly. First off I didn't wash my hair. I just took a bath and put my hair up and used Febreeze on it to take the smoke out. My eyes were almost swollen shut and purple and I just looked like ass. But I got through the day yesterday and I'm much much much better today. Ready to go out again tonight. And guess what? I got a job interview. I probably won't get the job. But fuck, I'm just so happy that out of 50 resumes, I got one interview. It's a phone interview and it's with the same company I work for now. I work for a local branch, but this is the national organization. It pays a lot more - hell yeah. But I bet they're interviewing people all over the country, so my chances of getting this job are slim to none. But, I am overqualified for the job, I perform similar tasks for the same company already, I know this company inside and out, and I really believe in the services we provide. But see I think like that, and I get my hopes up. It's not until August 26th, and in the meantime, I'm still applying for jobs and am going to go to a temp agency. Keep your fingers crossed for me. So, that's my exciting news. I have quite a bit of my weekend planned already. Nothing so far tonight, but we'll go out. And then tomorrow my friend and I are going to the pool, to the tanning bed, and then downtown to shop and eat lunch. I never go downtown, which is stupid because there are so many shops, and the mall is huge. Well, huge for Indiana. That night, we are going to a block party and then to the bars. And then on Sunday, my mom and I are shopping for clothes for me for the wedding, and my dad and I are shopping for a car for me. And then Sunday night Ben and I are going to dinner and a movie. Busy Busy. 10:25 a.m. - August 15, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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