singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Might Work... Huh...I should have tried the friends with benefits route with Chad earlier. As long as I can keep my emotions in check, this might work for me. Last night was...fun. And not painful, which was surprising. I thought I was going to see him and want to cry, but I was okay. I didn't get there until 11 - I was at a friend's house and was playing Wii with my boys. I love my guy friends. When they found out I was leaving to see Chad, they all asked, "Are you leaving to get fucked?" So classy, but sadly, true. So a few of them offered to do it in his place...funny. But, no. Chad asked me to come after 10, so I made him wait awhile. And he was waiting for me outside. We walked in his house and it was a bit awkward at first, but then he grabbed me and kissed me and said that he had been wanting to do that for a minute. The sex was great - it always is. It was hot and sweaty and passionate and...fulfilling. We were all over his house - chair, couch, stairs, bed...it was fun. We took breaks and talked in between. Drank some wine, smoked some pot. We crashed on the couch - he's 6'9", so his couch is giant sized. We were laying next to each other and I suggested that he lay on the other end so we have more room and he declined because he wanted to stay by me and hold me. Then we moved to the bed around 4:30 and slept wrapped up in each other. And this morning was like all of our mornings together - we laughed and talked and had more sex. I love mornings with him. Then we got dressed, went to breakfast and just had a great time. At one point, I refered to him as "the guy down the street" and I think that upset him a little. He said, "Well, that answers my question." I kind of feel like I have a bit of the upperhand again. Not even upperhand - it's more even now or something. Before he had all the power and now...he doesn't. Makes it more fair. We had a better time together today than we ever had before. No worries about anything. I just enjoyed it for what it was. He's coming to my benefit on Friday (my friends and I are raising $12k for breast cancer research) - he asked to come. And he asked if we were still going to Wicked together and he asked me if he bought tickets to Rascal Flatts if I would go with him. WTF?!? I should have broken up with him a long time ago! I feel like my options are more open. I can date Tim (who, by the way texted me all last night - I think he really likes me!), I have a first date tomorrow with Justin (from Match) and I can have sex with Chad. Options are a good thing. And of course if I start dating Tim or someone else seriously, I'll have to stop seeing Chad. I kind of wonder though if he won't try to start dating exclusively again at some point? Maybe not...seemed like he was more affected by last night than I was though. When we were leaving breakfast this morning, I said, "I had fun! I kind of missed you." He said, "Me too, but take out the kind of." Anyway...feel kind of guilty that I'm not at the Indy 500 today. So many people went and it's always a good time, but it's just such a process. You have to walk miles and carry a cooler and then drink out in the sun all day and then sit in traffic on the way home (while having to pee) for hours...but it's a fun and unique experience (like the Kentucky Derby or Mardi Gras), but I'm going to go on the deck and read a book instead and then go to a cookout. Starting Tuesday, I'm working my ass off again. I've gained about 20 of my pounds back and feel SO gross. I'm fat again. Blah. I think I'm going to do two a days - run in the morning and then go to the gym and lift and do more cardio at night. Take off this 20 pounds in a few weeks...hopefully my sprained/twisted ankle and pulled groin muscle is better by then... I'll probably update after my date with Justin tomorrow... 12:14 p.m. - May 24, 2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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