singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lack of Communication What�s normal in a relationship? Am I expecting too much? Michael�he makes me feel so insecure. We haven�t talked in 3 full days. His daughter is with him this week and next. Last time I was in Texas, I told him that he needed to talk to me. I told him that even a text message would be fine. On Wednesday, the 23rd, we had a horrible ice storm. We got sent home from work early. Michael always brags about the warm weather in Austin, so I texted him, �Once nice thing about Indiana winters, you get sent home early because of ice storms. I�m going to be upset if I die on the way home.� He texted back and said, �I will be too.� I texted him an hour and a half later and said, �I�m still not home yet!� He texted back, �Craziness!� And that was it. He never texted back to make sure I was okay. I talked to my mom about it the next day and she told me that he probably didn�t know how bad it was and that it�s 70 degrees there and he has no reference for ice storms. I�ve never been in a hurricane, but I think I would at least text him back to make sure he was okay�seems like that�s something you do for someone you care about. On Christmas Eve, he texted me, �Not to be mean, but Bella (daughter) and I are walking the dogs around the lake. It�s 75 degrees! How are you?� I didn�t respond. Then yesterday he texted, �Merry Christmas sweetie. How are you?� I texted, �Fine. Thank you for asking.� And that was it. Nothing since. I guess he�s doing what I said. Texting me the bare minimum. I also emailed him on the 23rd. Nothing too exciting, but it was sweet and funny and he never responded to that either. I don�t know�maybe I�m thinking too hard about this. It�s his time with his daughter, but if I move out there, will he not have time for me then either? He says that it�ll be different. I�ll be able to hang out with them too, but I don�t know. I think I might have hit a new low. I just created a fake profile on J Date to check to see if he was on there. He�s not. What do I want? I want to feel loved and I guess with Michael, I don�t always feel that way. He makes me feel insecure and needy and makes my self-confidence plummet. I want someone who WANTS to talk to me. Who calls and wishes me a Merry Christmas. Who�s concerned about my safety. Who doesn�t want to go 3 days without hearing my voice. I haven�t called him either though�he always calls me. And I already sent him an email and I don�t want him to feel like I�m hunting him down. My email was kind of needy in one paragraph. I asked him if he still wanted me to move there. I need to stop asking him that. But, I just don�t know where we stand. Me moving is a huge deal and if he goes for days without really talking to me� Probably we should break up and I should move on, but what if there is nobody else out there for me? I would take this over being alone. And part of me thinks it would be easier if I just moved out there. We would see each other more often�I would be a part of his daily life. At least that�s what he�s telling me� I don�t know�.I feel like this is the same story, just a different day. 6:31 a.m. - December 26, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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