singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back to Austin Well, I'm leaving for Austin on Thursday. I'm excited to see Michael...it's been two months. We talked after he told me he couldn't come here and he seemed genuinely upset. He was trying to work out a way to see me over NYE (my least favorite holiday, by the way). I didn't want to wait any longer...we both had a free weekend and the plane ticket was only $200....seemed too good to pass up. I leave Thursday afternoon and get there at 6:30. After 7 hours of traveling, I told him to have a drink ready for me in the car... I'll be there until Monday night. He works Saturday during the day, so we got a hotel downtown Friday and Saturday night so I can walk around and have things to do. It's supposed to be in the 70's, so I'm thinking I'll lie by the pool. Michael was like, "I'm not sure it'll be open or really warm enough." Um, it's 20 degrees and snowing here. I think I can handle it. I might be naked the entire weekend. There will be lots of time with his family and co-workers. I'm spending the night at his parent's house Thursday and Sunday. And his work holiday party is Sunday night (his step-dad owns the company). I'm terrible at social situations where I don't know many people. Plus I'll have the extra added pressure of having his parents watching me suck at it. Awesome! I decided to start taking drugs. Lexipro maybe. I don't want it to be a controlled substance though. I need to talk to my doctor, but he is out of town until Wednesday. And probably not a good idea to start a new drug right before I go on vacation. I think Lexapro is what I went on last time (and really liked it). I could probably look at my older entries and see... It treats depression and anxiety, so I think that's perfect for me. I'm tired of worrying and viewing the world as "glass half empty." I want to be a glass half-full girl again. I decided to finish this month of birth control and then go off it. See if I lose weight. I just so stagnant and it's making it hard. Why exercise and eat healthy if I don't lose weight at all? And it's not like I don't know how...I lost 100 pounds. I know how to lose weight, but for some reason, I'm not and it's been like that for over a year. I might have my thyroid tested too. I literally lost 100 pounds, turned 30 and started birth control in the same month. After that month, I stopped losing. They say it's much harder to lose weight once you turn 30, but surely it's not that automatic! Hopefully the next time I update, I'll be in a better mental place...it's not horrible, but I'm just not carefree, go lucky anymore. I miss that person. 8:42 p.m. - December 08, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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