singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Letter to my Friends This is an email I wrote to my girlfriends. I am the type of person who cannot hold things in. If I'm mad, you'll know. I think that is much more admirable than being someone who talks behind people's backs. I hate that. "Hi Girls, I feel like I owe you all an explanation. I have not been 100% myself lately, which I know some of you have noticed (as proof by one of you referring to me as a bitch on Saturday nigh � you know who you are). There are things going on in my life that have really affected me. These past few months have been extremely difficult for me and there are times when I just am not happy (I feel like maybe it�s depression, although I�m not sad all the time). An example of this is Saturday night. I was not rude to anyone. I smiled and spoke to people when spoken to. I did not want to be in photos, nor did I want to dance, but I don�t have to. I also do not expect people to ask me what is wrong (or ask Jeremy what is wrong with me) or to necessarily treat me any differently. I understand that I am not myself and I do not feel very social, but please, do not take it personally. I promise, it�s not you it�s me. And most of the time, if I don�t feel like being out, I�m not going to be. However in situations like Saturday night, I have to be there (and I wanted to be part of Brian and Lara�s day). What I do expect is for my FRIENDS to not call me a bitch and to be a little bit more patient and understanding. I�m sorry if I�m not myself for a little while. Please do not turn it around and make it about you. Do not start calling me names or talking behind my back about this. If I confide in one person about something, but not another, don�t take it personally (and please if I ask you to keep something to yourself, do so). I�m not trying to be dramatic about this, but this is one of the hardest times in my life and I certainly do not want to surround myself by �friends� who instead of trying to support me, will just call me a bitch instead. It makes me sad that I even have to write this, but you all know me, I have to get it out or I will remained pissed off for a very long time. And please realize that I�m not asking anyone to go out of their way, just treat me like you usually do, but be more patient with my mood swings � please. Don�t feel like you can�t call me or email me. I will try to be better at getting back to you, but again, please be patient. And yes, I�ll probably be out most of the time still, but if you see me sitting alone or blinking back tears, you don�t have to comfort me. I�ll be fine. Not right now, but I will soon. And I apologize for this, but if it�s something I could control I would. And just know that for those of you who are my friends, I will support you when you are down. I will not call you a bitch or make you feel badly or guilty about what�s going on in your life. Now that that�s out, are we doing Girls Night this week?" They can't be too mad, right? 3:31 p.m. - July 12, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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