singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jeremy's Grandpa Jeremy�s grandpa died yesterday. He was close to him, and it was his last living grandparent, which must make it even more difficult. I am going with him to the calling and the funeral on Thursday and Friday. I have to work on Saturday. Okay, I realize that this next section is going to sound selfish, but this is my diary and these are my true thoughts � I would never share them with Jeremy, which is why I�m writing them here. I think that if either my grandma or grandpa died, I wouldn�t want Jeremy with me. Not because I don�t think he would be supportive, but because he doesn�t know them (they live in NC). When my best friend died, I only wanted to be surrounded by other people that really knew her. I only wanted to be around other people that felt the same way I did. I met his grandfather once, and I really liked him, but I�m not family and I don�t really know anything about him. But because Jeremy wants me there, I�m going to go. Another thing (which is so terribly selfish) is that I�m nervous to meet the rest of his family. First off, I hate that for the rest of their lives, they are going to remember that they met me at a funeral. Secondly, funerals are so awkward, and if you recall, I�m painfully shy until I get to know someone. I�m imagining meeting his grieving family and standing there completely uncomfortable because I don�t know what to say or what to do. I hope to God that there is alcohol at this thing. I�ve never been to one where there was, but I might have to take a flask. I was talking to my boss about this today and she knows how much I try to avoid uncomfortable social situations and she is making me take the days off to go. It also sucks because we don�t have money at the moment, so we have to leave Thursday at 5 pm, drive 2 hours, go to the calling and leave again around 10 pm to drive 2 hours home. We have to then leave the next day at 9 am, drive 2 hours, go to the funeral, then drive 2 hours home. I then get to wake up the next day (Saturday) at 6:30 am and go to work for half a day. All my girlfriends are in Vegas this weekend (I love being poor!), so I�ll have nobody but Jeremy to go out with on Saturday night. Now, because all the girls are out of town, I guarantee that the boys will try to pull a guy�s night, but if Jeremy thinks he�s going to leave me at home after a hellish 3 days, he�s mistaken. Either I�m going or the two of us are going to do our own thing. Okay, selfish time is over. I just hate funerals and meeting family. Nothing like mixing the two together, all while having to sit in a car for a total of 8 hours in 24 hours. Oops. That was still selfish. Okay, I love Jeremy and I will do whatever he wants me to do in his time of need. Better? 5:18 p.m. - February 22, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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