singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Love, Love, Love It seems that every Friday I say this, but I am so happy that it�s almost the weekend. Right around this time every week, my thoughts stray from my busy schedule and I start dreaming about lazy days, cold beer and cigarettes. I seem to enjoy my weekends more now that I�ve stopped drinking and smoking during the week (well, as much anyway). Sometimes I wish I could go back to the wild and crazy days of my �youth� (I�m 26, not exactly old), but for the most part I�m happy that I�m not hanging out in clubs every night, drinking until I fall asleep. I did drink Tuesday and Wednesday night this week (just wine), which was very nice. I love drinking wine. I love how you can feel it traveling through you body, relaxing each body part before moving on to the next one. Jeremy and I spent the evenings laying together on the couch, drinking wine, smoking cigarettes and laughing with each other. We also had amazing sex both nights � perhaps we should start drinking more during the week. My hands were freezing last night, so to warm them up I placed them on Jeremy�s naked back. He was so startled that he fell out of bed. I laughed for a long time � side splitting, crying laughter, which felt so good. I�m glad he was okay and he even laughed at himself. And, it worked. I didn�t get warm from his body heat, but the laughter took away the cold. This week, although more fun than most, was a very long week. Wednesday was as bad as I feared � my volunteers didn�t show up and I had to clean, sweep, dust, weed, and mop in the heat and humidity. I also fell down the stairs in the process, which made me angry � it was the icing on the cake. I didn�t seriously hurt myself, but I have bruises on my ankle, shin, knee (one for each stair I hit) and one on the underside of my arm (where I hit the rail). Yesterday I was still sore from the day before, so I took a half-day and spent the afternoon in sweet solitude. I read, watched TV and cleaned the apartment. I contemplated lounging by the pool, but the heat index was a miserable one hundred degrees. When I was younger, I used to have a strong need to be very tan every summer. I would lie out for hours whenever I could and religiously bake my body. While I still enjoy lying by the pool, I�m not as driven to darken my skin. I can actually spend part of a summer day indoors and not feel guilty about wasting precious summer light. It�s freeing, really. Tonight we�re actually going out, which could be why I�m excited for this workday to wind down. We�re going to a pub to meet friends after dinner. Tomorrow we have the car wash, but other than that we have no plans. I�m sure we�ll go out tomorrow night and spend Sunday afternoon in the sun. Okay, so my thoughts on the engagement � they�re not really that formulated or clear, but I think (or maybe I just hope) that it might happen soon. Our one year anniversary is coming up (I know we are going to spend it somewhere out of town (Chicago probably), and it would be the perfect time, and setting, for him to ask me. A few entries ago, I questioned why he�s so careless with his money, and wondered where it went. What if it�s going towards a ring? I know it�s a far-fetched theory, but the thought just fills me with joy. I cannot wait to be his wife and even though I know I am going to spend the rest of my life with him, I can�t wait for the bond that legally ties us together. In reality, I know he feels the same way about me, but I�m sure buying a ring is the furthest thing from his mind, which is okay, but I�m not getting any younger. And, as I said before, my mom went through menopause when she was 36, which means I have to complete my family in 9 years (I�m almost 27). Yes, a lot can happen in 9 years, but most girls my age have 20 or so years to do what I might have to do in 9. And yes, I might not go into menopause until much later, but I�ll never know until it happens. Sometimes I just wonder what the hell we�re waiting for? We both love each other and know that we want to get married. No, we�re not rich, but we could end up waiting forever if that�s what�s holding us back. He wants to graduate school, which will happen in May, and I want to buy a house first, which will happen in August (next year). So yes, logically it makes sense to wait, but sometimes I wonder why the hell we�re waiting? If you�re lucky enough to find true love, shouldn�t you jump at the chance? All you need is love. Or, in our case a bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes. 2:18 p.m. - July 23, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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