singlegirl's Diaryland Diary
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Jimmy
Jimmy is smoking hot. Like for real Brad Pitt hot. I was so nervous for our date. I got to the restaurant right on time and was talking to my friend on the phone (I was sitting in my car and she was building up my self-confidence) when I saw a man with shoulder-length blonde hair rushing towards the restaurant. I literally hung up on my friend and rushed out of my car so I could meet him inside.
We recognized each other right away and ended up sitting at the bar, next to the band (but we were kind of behind the speaker so it wasn�t impossible to talk). We sat catty corner at the end of a huge table (only one left in the place) and had to talk really close to hear each other.
I excused myself to the bathroom and wrote a text to my friends that said I wanted to lick his face. He is that attractive. But yeah, we kept touching each other and there was an obvious sexual attraction
When I�m nervous, I have a tendency to chug my drink. I don�t even realize I�m doing it. I ended up having six 24 ounce draft Coors Lights! Oops. I think he had two drinks. Luckily he thought it was endearing that I was drinking like a crazy-person. After dinner and drinks, we went to a completely hole-in-the-wall dive bar (he drove).
We were there until 3:30 in the morning and we were drunk, making out and acting crazy. We went back to his house and I spent the night there (but not one stitch of my clothing came off).
It was a lot of fun. The best (and craziest) first date I�ve been on. He came over again last night and I made dinner and we watched TV and a movie. He spent the night and we did do the deed.
I wasn�t going to, but I came to the realization that Jimmy and I will never be a couple and I�m so attracted to him, that I should at least sleep with him. I want to lick him all the time. Run my fingers through his hair .Bite him. It�s insane. I don�t think I�ve lusted after someone as much as I�ve lusted after him.
Made me realize that I must not be that attracted to Michael because I�m not touchy feely with him�but the sex is way better with Michael. How is that?
Anyway, on Friday Jimmy told me that in the past several years he�s only had very short relationships (3 or 6 weeks long). For someone that hot, nice, etc it seemed kind of weird.
Last night I figured out why. He�s 40 and acts like he�s 18. He�s the perpetual bachelor. His house was a complete bachelor pad. The bed didn�t even have sheets on it (although it was covered in piles of clothes so I told myself that he was probably in the middle of laundry) and he never put them on � we slept on a mattress pad.
He also is a pot-head. Like twice a day. And he smokes a lot of cigarettes. And he drinks Jack and Budweiser. He is kind of hardcore. He�s a rocker. He knows Brett Michaels, Steven Tyler, etc. He lives that lifestyle. And he wants to date a girl from Indiana. Not going to happen�he needs to either move to California/Nashville � somewhere like that and find someone else in the music scene or he needs to grow up and be a man.
He has his real estate appraiser�s license and he does that now to pay the bills (along with doing tech work for national bands) and he thinks he wants to go back on tour for himself.
He also suffers from depression and anxiety (which I cannot judge), but it doesn�t seem like he does much to help. Drinking and doing drugs all the time is not helping. He�s on medicine, which is good, but you have to be more proactive with things like that (at least in my opinion).
Unfortunately and fortunately he seems to really like me. I genuinely think he�s a good person, but I don�t want that life. I want to be married to a stable man who has his life together. Ten or even five years ago, I would have tried to change him, but I don�t want to do that anymore.
So yeah, I leave for Texas to see Michael next Wednesday, so I thought I would hang out with Jimmy until then and then break things off after. I feel so guilty saying that. Maybe he�s not quite as hard core as I think. It�s partially my fault. I got drunk, got all sexual and even smoked a little with him. I kind of set the tone.
Maybe if I tell him that�s not what I�m looking for, he�ll stop doing it as much. Or not even that, but maybe he doesn�t do it as much as I think and he�s just thinking I�m some crazy, party girl and he�s trying to impress me.
It�s funny because he is from a totally richy rich family and you cannot tell. He�s shunned that lifestyle�he also once dated a Penthouse model (which I 100% believe � he�s that hot) when he was doing tech work for one of the photo shoots. That also helped me keep my clothes on Friday night. Nothing like wiping away a girl�s self-confidence by revealing something like that!
But yeah, he�s all skinny rocker jeans, wife beaters, flannel shirts, long hair�and he� 40. He really is very similar to Brett Michaels (but not creepy and gross like him). He lost his virginity in 1985. I lost mine in 1998. We both kind of freaked out about that last night. Ten years older is kind of a lot.
He calls me kid, which I like. Makes me feel young. Anyway, that was my weekend with Jimmy. Fun, wild and crazy.
I have a date with Brad this week. I wasn�t looking forward to it since I liked both Jimmy and Michael so much, but now I am. Now that I know Jimmy (100% most likely) isn�t the one for me, I�m ready to try the next guy (while also juggling Michael and Jimmy). Oh goodness!
And really, if Michael agrees to come here for one year, then I�m 100% his, but if he can�t do that, then I think I�m going to have to break things off with him. I want something uncomplicated. Dating an aging rocker and a married man who lives 1,000 miles away is anything but uncomplicated.
So here�s to hoping the other two guys I�m talking to are normal, nice and not completely weighed down with baggage.
Also, here is my real before and after side photos (I did 2 befores on my last entry). I think these are the biggest difference.
1:54 p.m. - March 03, 2008
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