singlegirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Wedding is Over! Yay! The wedding is finally over. Parts of it were better than I thought, and other parts were worse. I looked hideous in my bridesmaid dress. Hideous. People kept telling me how great I looked, which was funny. Do people really think you can�t tell when you look like absolute ass? That was embarrassing. My sister-in-law never really warmed up to me. Neither did most of the other bridesmaids. They all thought I was 19 or 20, not 26. I hate that. I don�t think I look really young, so I must act really immature. But, they�re all in their early 30�s, married, and have kids. We�re just at totally different stages of life. It was just strange being part of a wedding in which most of the people don�t make an effort to get to know you. But at least everyone who knows both me and my sister-in-law think she�s the bitch and not me. I think the worst part was realizing that I am a total loser. It was really kind of a wake up call. I know I shouldn�t compare myself with my siblings, but in a situation where you see old friends and family members, and you�re all together, it�s hard not to. My older brother has a good job, just got married, and just bought a house. He�s 28. My little brother is a sophomore at a very good school, he�s in a good fraternity, has a very cute girlfriend, almost a 4.0, and is headed towards law school. I am unemployed, living with high school friends, single, and overweight. Seriously, a total loser. I was so depressed this weekend, and it didn�t help to have to talk to everyone about it. Everyone asked me about my job and if I was dating someone. Imagine having to answer those questions over and over again while wearing the ugliest, most unflattering dress imaginable. It was awful. So I decided that I need to make a life plan for myself. I can sit here and complain about how pathetic I am, or I can take action to change it. Once I figure out my life plan, I will post it here. I need to make my life better instead of waiting for it to happen. I need to get rid of the negative things in my life, including Ben, and increase the number of positive things. Speaking of Ben, he was another negative of the wedding. He knows how important this weekend was for me. He also knows that when he�s around my family, he should not dress punk. Especially at a wedding. He wore a suit, but had his chains hanging out of his pocket, and instead of wearing dress shoes, he wore boots. Then, at the reception, he took off his jacket and untucked his shirt. I asked him to tuck it back in, but he wouldn�t. Then, at the end of the wedding, he tucked it back in because we were going to the bars. Seriously, if I had a gun, he probably would have been dead. I didn�t talk to him for hours. He�s such a selfish loser. And maybe I sound snotty or stuck up, but this was important to me and he looked so bad. I�m done dating losers. Done. So that�s it. The good parts of the wedding? I got drunk and it�s over. Plus my older brother is happy. And my parents had fun. And now for the rest of the day, I�m going to figure out my life and hopefully find a job. I�m kind of excited for this change. Who knows what�ll happen. 10:29 a.m. - September 16, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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